Thespianism and the “Female Orgasm”
I thought of a brilliant plan to make a Hollywood disaster film last night. And I don’t mean a disaster film like with tornados and an attacking horde of Stay Puf’t Marshmallow Men. I mean a disaster film as in a massive box office failure. A film in which no dollars are recouped. A failure so bad that cash pours out of the bank like someone’s broken the dyke.
Are you ready for it? Here’s the idea.
Have a woman star in the lead role.
Just like the first time they let a woman on the space shuttle, any movie that allows a woman to helm the lead will be a huge fucking catastrophe.
Here’s a list of the top grossing movies of all time:
1. Titanic - male lead
2. Star Wars - male lead
3. Shrek 2 - male ogre lead
4. E.T. - male alien lead
The list goes on and on — so I’ll stop there because this site is not about going on and on, it’s about getting to the point as quickly as is prudent; a manly thing.
Men are better than women at acting. You can go look it up yourself or you can just take my word for it, but nowhere in the top 100 highest grossing films of all time is there fucking one that has a woman as the main character. In fact, the only movie where a woman is important to the story at all is “What Women Want” starring Mel Gibson, and I only say that because I haven’t seen that movie and nothing on the face of the Earth could make me.
Women can’t act, they can’t sing, and they’re not funny — they have as much place in the public forum as a mule at a beauty pageant yet still they stumble in with their sash clamped between their enormous teeth braying for their time in the spotlight. We all already know why; because women will do anything for attention — anything. Good or bad attention, it doesn’t matter. They’re so addicted to it that if prostitution was legal, you wouldn’t even have to pay for it. Women would have no need for money, living the life of luxury and swimming in a life-sustaining, media-maelstrom of attention.
That doesn’t answer the question though. Why does no one give a shit about movies based on the lives of women? And also why can’t women act?
Women can’t act because there’s only one emotion they know. Greed. The one-horned, green-eyed monster. Acting requires familiarity and the ability to display all kinds of emotions. To women, that’s like asking a pile of shit to play darts with you. Good luck.
No one gives a shit about movies based on women because a main character who latches onto everything like a leech, ruins all it touches like an angel of Armageddon, and all the while has absolutely no redeeming qualities; makes for a shitty story. Just describing a woman character ruined this paragraph. Now imagine two and a half hours based on the same shit that ends in a crappy apartment with sixteen cats. Box office disaster.
It’s a good thing Hollywood only gives a shit about equality when it’s on the screen and not behind it. Otherwise 50% of movies wouldn’t even require a poster. They could just go straight into the local video rental discount bin of Who Gives a Shit.
If you want to see how poorly women act just remember the last time one tried to slip a fake orgasm past you. Pitifully amateur, right? Among the myriad of things women will never understand is that there’s a difference between “buying the bullshit” and just not giving a damn. Let me explain.
I’m giving the Trick-Or-Treaters candy next week whether they’re convincing or not. You say you’re a Power Ranger? That’s fine. I don’t really give a shit because I’m a man and dress-up pretend time isn’t in my Man Bag. Your costume is your business.
It’s the same thing.
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In fact, if you want to make a great movie have an insignificant number of actresses playing minimal parts or preferably, none.
1) Godfather
2) Shawshank Redemption
3) The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
4) Dr Strangelove
5) Usual Suspects
6) Road to Perdition
7) Goodfellas
………I could easily go into the hundreds with this list. The formula is: The more mantastic the film, the better.
If you do have to include a female, show em for the manipulative whores they often are:
1) American Beauty
2) Memento
3) Fight Club
jeff, that’s a great point. I’ve also never seen an episode of Sex and the City, but the way women talk about it is enough to rule it out. You would think that women would be natural actors, what with all the practice, but acting isn’t about lying. It’s about tapping into experiences and emotions. Women have none of either one.
-Dick
And Christian, shut your little boy mouth up.
philw, it is more than likely true that more males than females are at the top of all fields but here’s a few possible reasons why. You’ll like them.
1. Men have historically been working in industry longer than women & have therefore over time most fields have become boys clubs making it near impossible for a woman to reach the top, especially en masse, even if their smarter than the boys. There’s a couple of things called ‘the glass ceiling’ and male dominated workplaces, you might want to wikipedia these.
2. Women are biologically programmed to prefer to bed more resourceful, successful men. Men are therefore driven to work/complete like mice on a wheel in order to make sure their semen is chosen by the female.
3. Women are typically harder workers than males but don’t “push” themselves ahead of the “men” because they know this would stamp all over most men’s fragile egos, resulting in said men casting dispersions on said woman. An especially foul tactic used by said men is to try and bed the smarter, more successful female work colleague, then to brag about it to all and sundry so that her career reputation becomes tainted, so said man can then get promoted over her head. And they think woman sleep their way to the top, pfft!
We now have bitch media, that media that knows only lies and incapable of telling the truth and we have the female to thank for it.
Political correctness instigated the lie and feminists promoted it.
Thanks bitches for the lies.
Sex and the city. Need i say more about women and acting? The worst piece of shit ever put on television, and Ive never even had to watch it to figure that out. The problem with women actors, is that women are always putting up an act anyway (except when theyre being stupid debutantes), and putting this crap on tv or in movies encourages them. Even if it is only other women who watch it. You would think since all women have a facade that they would be natural born actors. But then you realize, thats like trying to cover a lie with another lie.
On the acting note, I have just one thing to say: of course. Men are better than women at all things and the glaring differences are most notable in undertakings that are, at less skillful levels, known as girly things such as cooking, dancing, figure skating, etc. Watch any olympic competition or even Iron Chef and you’ll see that at the top (or “real”) levels of anything are men and only men.