Thespianism and the “Female Orgasm”
I thought of a brilliant plan to make a Hollywood disaster film last night. And I don’t mean a disaster film like with tornados and an attacking horde of Stay Puf’t Marshmallow Men. I mean a disaster film as in a massive box office failure. A film in which no dollars are recouped. A failure so bad that cash pours out of the bank like someone’s broken the dyke.
Are you ready for it? Here’s the idea.
Have a woman star in the lead role.
Just like the first time they let a woman on the space shuttle, any movie that allows a woman to helm the lead will be a huge fucking catastrophe.
Here’s a list of the top grossing movies of all time:
1. Titanic - male lead
2. Star Wars - male lead
3. Shrek 2 - male ogre lead
4. E.T. - male alien lead
The list goes on and on — so I’ll stop there because this site is not about going on and on, it’s about getting to the point as quickly as is prudent; a manly thing.
Men are better than women at acting. You can go look it up yourself or you can just take my word for it, but nowhere in the top 100 highest grossing films of all time is there fucking one that has a woman as the main character. In fact, the only movie where a woman is important to the story at all is “What Women Want” starring Mel Gibson, and I only say that because I haven’t seen that movie and nothing on the face of the Earth could make me.
Women can’t act, they can’t sing, and they’re not funny — they have as much place in the public forum as a mule at a beauty pageant yet still they stumble in with their sash clamped between their enormous teeth braying for their time in the spotlight. We all already know why; because women will do anything for attention — anything. Good or bad attention, it doesn’t matter. They’re so addicted to it that if prostitution was legal, you wouldn’t even have to pay for it. Women would have no need for money, living the life of luxury and swimming in a life-sustaining, media-maelstrom of attention.
That doesn’t answer the question though. Why does no one give a shit about movies based on the lives of women? And also why can’t women act?
Women can’t act because there’s only one emotion they know. Greed. The one-horned, green-eyed monster. Acting requires familiarity and the ability to display all kinds of emotions. To women, that’s like asking a pile of shit to play darts with you. Good luck.
No one gives a shit about movies based on women because a main character who latches onto everything like a leech, ruins all it touches like an angel of Armageddon, and all the while has absolutely no redeeming qualities; makes for a shitty story. Just describing a woman character ruined this paragraph. Now imagine two and a half hours based on the same shit that ends in a crappy apartment with sixteen cats. Box office disaster.
It’s a good thing Hollywood only gives a shit about equality when it’s on the screen and not behind it. Otherwise 50% of movies wouldn’t even require a poster. They could just go straight into the local video rental discount bin of Who Gives a Shit.
If you want to see how poorly women act just remember the last time one tried to slip a fake orgasm past you. Pitifully amateur, right? Among the myriad of things women will never understand is that there’s a difference between “buying the bullshit” and just not giving a damn. Let me explain.
I’m giving the Trick-Or-Treaters candy next week whether they’re convincing or not. You say you’re a Power Ranger? That’s fine. I don’t really give a shit because I’m a man and dress-up pretend time isn’t in my Man Bag. Your costume is your business.
It’s the same thing.
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“there is no liberation without accountability.
There is no power without responsibility.”
This hits it right on the head, Vanity.
This is the summation of anti-feminism.
This states it all.
Women do not want to hear it, feminists have tried their hardest to ensure that women are not accountable for their actions. For reference see the law courts for comparisons on male to female sentencing for similar or exact crimes.
For the same crime 1 female to 19 males will go to jail.
Interesting.
Women always have excuses, this was covered in previous topics.
It’s true. From the very start, women aren’t raised to accept accountability or responsibility in the same way men are — or at all. It’s obvious even at the youngest ages. Girls (and thereby women) just aren’t meant to wield the kind of power that men do. It’s simple really. All too simple.
-Dick
Schleps in the Shitty City pretty much speaks for itself.
4 fuck rats, banging their way thru NYC whilst obsessing over their $1000 pairs of shoes whilst crying they dont even own a home at age 38. Typical. This sort of story just would not fly if it were 4 male sluts banging their way thru NYC. Dont know or even care why… just a gut feeling that tells me men wouldnt watch it.
How hehehehelarious that a woman should ridicule the allegedly fragile egoes of men. Women who, dont have the basic balls to risk the challenge to their ego by asking a man out and who waste time rationalising their gutless natures by saying its mens fault because its an affront to the male ego to be approached by a woman. ahahahahhahahahahha. Women, who wear padded bras, high heels, girdles, 2 inches of make up, colour their hair, cant face the world without their makeup, pluck and wax… blah blah. And of course, default defense is… thats wot men want, we are doing ot for you, its your fault, we are not responsible… wah wah wah. Do you ladies realise just how much harm you do to yourselves when you refuse to take responsibility for your own actions, behaviours, motovations. Men just cannot respect scapegoating copouts.
Frankly l dont know how the average modern women can walk, having blown away both her feet with the double barelled shot gun of unaccountability and scapegoating. Have you gals learnt NOTHING from your feminasty bretheren… there is no liberation without accountability. There is no power without responsibility. Complain and blame are the most disempowering things you can do to yourselves.
Dont you get whats going on here ladies. Men are winding you up because we crave a responsible woman. We are trying to embarass, hassle and ridicule you OUT of YOUR COMPALCENCY. Plus its funny watcing you all squirm at the patently obvious. Cheap larfs.
If you dont get that, you are wasting your time in this place.
They probably wanted to cater to the demographic of television households that have a man in control of the remote. You know, 100%.
-Dick
I have seen several episodes of Sex and the City, and can confirm that it is utter shite.
Interesting how it was designed for women, yet several of the episodes featured female nudity.
Female, congratulations on your win. I herby declare you winner of the ‘I’ll keep posting even though I dont have a clue what the fuck I am talking about’ award.
Usually that kind of “good luck” is spoken as a farewell. I can only hope we’re that lucky.
-Dick
Women can and have made a difference. And they will continue to in the future. I’ll pray for you boys, because I truly believe you need it. Good luck…
Absolutely true, wolfe. I can’t seem to find any information on the internet about it, but did Reese’s Pieces win any supporting actor awards for their role in E.T.? Did that happen? I don’t remember anything about it at the time, but while we’re on the subject of acting did Reese’s Pieces the candies win awards for their role in E.T.?
Fuck off of my site women.
-Dick
Female, Dick is correct about Titanic. Women again are in the role of reactor rather than actor. To borrow an old analogy from Dick, E.T was improved because it had candy in it. Titanic was improved because it had women in it. Neither mean that you should attempt to make a great film featuring only candy or women.
Chelsea wrote: “Unless I’m mistaken… “.
You are. Now please kindly be quiet.
You betray a stunning lack of comprehension in your recent posts here. For an exercise, try distinguishing between the phrases “I’ve never even had to watch it to figure that out.” and “I’ve never watched it”. In the world of men, one forms a hypothesis, tests it in a variety of ways, and confirms, alters, or discards the hypothesis based on the evidence. Jeff’s sentence neatly summed up that process for any man reading. For a woman, I can see how that would be as incomprehensible.
“I believe that you kind of HAVE to see something to be able to even speak about it.” Wrong again. I don’t need to see a hammer falling on my foot to know that it would hurt. I don’t need to see my house burn down to speak about the dangers of fire. I don’t need to watch a woman trying to reason to know that she’s inferior to a man at deductive reasoning.
You’ve stormed onto these boards, uninvited, and explicitly forbidden, spouting inane babble, cursing people, and using some of the foulest language I’ve seen outside of a longshoreman’s guild meeting or a women’s coffee klatch. You’ve been treated with remarkable courtesy, considering.
To educate you, I suggest a thought experiment (that’s along the lines of not having to see something to learn about it, a process you might find useful someday). Try and pretend a man has popped onto one of your Lactating Lesbian Lawyers against Logic boards. He’s roundly cursed you all out, says he hopes you are screwed and disbarred, betrayed an utter lack of knowledge of illogic, lesbians, lesbian law, and lactation. Would he be welcome?
You’re wrong like usual, Female. The point of the article is that women make lousy lead characters. In Titanic the woman played the role of a trophy fought over for purposes of ego and power and never in any kind of danger.
Obviously you didn’t understand the diamond metaphor. How pedestrian.
-Dick
Geeza, you’re the one who is confused. The whole point of Dick’s article was that the top grossing movies of all time DO NOT have a female lead, but you yourself disputed that point with the following,
“The only reason why ‘Titanic’ was such a crock of shit is because instead of the story revolving around one of the biggest tragedies of the early industrial era, it revolved around another stupid romantic woman in a love triangle.”
Shall I repeat your own words third time lucky for you?, “titanic…..revolved around another stupid romantic woman in a love triangle.” Thus I win. Clearly if you are a lawyer, you are a fucking bad one.
Female and Chelsea, you’re completely wrong. I would be worried about the state of the future with ignorant maniacs like you two running around, but then I remember. You’re women. You can’t make a difference.
-Dick
And, by the way, if that doesn’t make sense to you, DICK (as you are so appropriately named), then you are a lot dumber than you pretend to be.
Funny, Dick, that you said, and I quote, “I find it fascinating that the women who post here always disprove their own points in doing so. Women are the prosecutor, the defendant, and the criminal all in one. Who needs a judge! Nobody’s making any sense anyway.” Seems to me that you guys do a damn good job proving yourselves to be ignorant assholes. Take, for example, this little quote from jeff, “sex and the city. Need i say more about women and acting? The worst piece of shit ever put on television, and Ive never even had to watch it to figure that out.” Hmm, you’ve never had to even watch it to figure it out? That seems a little funny to me, Jeff. Unless I’m mistaken, I believe that you kind of HAVE to see something to be able to even speak about it. Your bullshit opinions hold no validity if you admit yourself that they’re based on absolutely fucking nothing.
You drowned with your pathetic arguments a couple of posts back already as you cling desperately to the Titanic. Now you’re hiding behind Dicks statements to make a point.
Top grossing movie means it outsold other movies in ticket sales.
A movie can only be judged good AFTER people have seen it. You therefore cannot rely on ticket sales to say that a movie is good.
So was Titanic the top grossing movie? : yes
Does that mean it is a good movie? : no
Following so far?
I agree with Dicks conclusion that having a woman in the lead role leads to a roll of celluloid shit?
But I didnt agree with using gross sales as the yardstick. Hence I said:
“In fact, if you want to make a great movie have an insignificant number of actresses playing minimal parts or preferably, none.”
And proceeded to give a list of movies and did not include the Titanic.
Therefore:
A female lead or storyline centred around a female = A shit piece of cinematography.
Now why dont you post another paragraph of drivel and embarass your gender abit more.
I should read comments before posting? perhaps you should read the posted article before dribbling your shite. To save you precious man time *cough* I’ll save you the trouble. Refer dick’s statement below
“Here’s a list of the top grossing movies of all time:
1. Titanic - male lead”
So Geeza, you say this movie revolved around a romantic woman? Dick, you should be taking notes here.
You also say this movie was a crock of shit, yet Dick holds it up as the top grossing movie of all time. You men need to get your stories straight.
The IMDB 250 list is not even based on sales. It is based on viewers tastes the world over and does not even feature ‘Titanic’ in the top 250, but it does include many Japanese and European movies. In fact, there are 5 non-english movies in the top 30.
The only one around here with smoke and mirrors and a truckload of bullshit is you. The only reason why ‘Titanic’ was such a crock of shit is because instead of the story revolving around one of the biggest tragedies of the early industrial era, it revolved around another stupid romantic woman in a love triangle. Otherwise the director, special effects etc were fine.
Therefore:
A female lead or storyline centred around a female = A shit piece of cinematography.
If you want to argue movies do a little research instead of clinging on to your nosediving arguments the way you are clinging on to the Titanic.
No Geeza, who cares what the stats say. I’ve studied stats and I know they can be twisted, turned, interpreted this way or that ET FUCKING CETERA to not bother with them. You men love to quote numbers, especially BIG numbers (hmmm) but you always, always fail to consider the qualitative element or other contributing factors. Take, for instance, the fact that most movies are Hollywood Blockbuster pieces of shit and the only reason they do well (Titanic, for instance) is due to mass marketing, whereby the major stakeholders (SONY etc) coerce their distributers to stock their products or lose rebates etc. The world of man is smoke and mirrors, bullshit in a tie, if you will. The only reason Titanic didn’t tank this time is because of Celine Dion’s voice. Owned by a woman. Distributed by men and women.