Thespianism and the “Female Orgasm”
I thought of a brilliant plan to make a Hollywood disaster film last night. And I don’t mean a disaster film like with tornados and an attacking horde of Stay Puf’t Marshmallow Men. I mean a disaster film as in a massive box office failure. A film in which no dollars are recouped. A failure so bad that cash pours out of the bank like someone’s broken the dyke.
Are you ready for it? Here’s the idea.
Have a woman star in the lead role.
Just like the first time they let a woman on the space shuttle, any movie that allows a woman to helm the lead will be a huge fucking catastrophe.
Here’s a list of the top grossing movies of all time:
1. Titanic - male lead
2. Star Wars - male lead
3. Shrek 2 - male ogre lead
4. E.T. - male alien lead
The list goes on and on — so I’ll stop there because this site is not about going on and on, it’s about getting to the point as quickly as is prudent; a manly thing.
Men are better than women at acting. You can go look it up yourself or you can just take my word for it, but nowhere in the top 100 highest grossing films of all time is there fucking one that has a woman as the main character. In fact, the only movie where a woman is important to the story at all is “What Women Want” starring Mel Gibson, and I only say that because I haven’t seen that movie and nothing on the face of the Earth could make me.
Women can’t act, they can’t sing, and they’re not funny — they have as much place in the public forum as a mule at a beauty pageant yet still they stumble in with their sash clamped between their enormous teeth braying for their time in the spotlight. We all already know why; because women will do anything for attention — anything. Good or bad attention, it doesn’t matter. They’re so addicted to it that if prostitution was legal, you wouldn’t even have to pay for it. Women would have no need for money, living the life of luxury and swimming in a life-sustaining, media-maelstrom of attention.
That doesn’t answer the question though. Why does no one give a shit about movies based on the lives of women? And also why can’t women act?
Women can’t act because there’s only one emotion they know. Greed. The one-horned, green-eyed monster. Acting requires familiarity and the ability to display all kinds of emotions. To women, that’s like asking a pile of shit to play darts with you. Good luck.
No one gives a shit about movies based on women because a main character who latches onto everything like a leech, ruins all it touches like an angel of Armageddon, and all the while has absolutely no redeeming qualities; makes for a shitty story. Just describing a woman character ruined this paragraph. Now imagine two and a half hours based on the same shit that ends in a crappy apartment with sixteen cats. Box office disaster.
It’s a good thing Hollywood only gives a shit about equality when it’s on the screen and not behind it. Otherwise 50% of movies wouldn’t even require a poster. They could just go straight into the local video rental discount bin of Who Gives a Shit.
If you want to see how poorly women act just remember the last time one tried to slip a fake orgasm past you. Pitifully amateur, right? Among the myriad of things women will never understand is that there’s a difference between “buying the bullshit” and just not giving a damn. Let me explain.
I’m giving the Trick-Or-Treaters candy next week whether they’re convincing or not. You say you’re a Power Ranger? That’s fine. I don’t really give a shit because I’m a man and dress-up pretend time isn’t in my Man Bag. Your costume is your business.
It’s the same thing.
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Keep in mind the production companies that make up those movies have a lot of women team leads :)
Most weapons are penis shaped… As well as cancerous pleasures. Same rationality as these articles.
That’s not philosophy, that’s just giving yourself a license to fish in troubled water.
Any of those postmodernists can stand where X marks the spot. And I will ask a ballistics expert to aim the cannon. Well see how little regard the postmodernist cleverpants has for facts.
Nothing is fact therefore cannot be proven.
“I think therefore I am”
Thus the only thing known to exist is yourself.
so no…it cant be proven nor can the male orgasm,
or life for that matter.
I can prove “orgasm” to myself…or what i have been
told is female orgasm but other wise no. Orgasm cannot
be proven to anyone else but yourself.
HA HA HA OMG “your dick is too small” =] THANK YOU! I on the other hand orgasm REALLY every time if not more than once and my boyfriends dicks is massive! god knows how we were ever able to hae sex but thats beside the point. point is: Im deep and small, Hes long and wide, I orgasm because of it! Having sex with a man with a smaller dick would be a complete waste of my time and breath…
hahahaha XD Ive never done that. I’m a to the point, I’m horny, lets have sex, I’m GOING to cum, kinda women. no faking, no porn manuvers, no fake screaming, no sex talk, JUST STRAIGHT UP DIRTY FUCKING SEX! god I hate women who ACTUALLY act like god damn WOMEN. If I get bored during sex, I get quiet and I get up and play video games…I dont fuck with my boyfriends head and fake it. I mean who the fuck cares! you suck, end of disscussion!
Men dont really give a shit if you climax or not, maybe P-whipped ones do. I cum 100% of the time no problem, next task.
Dick…..I truly support ur views and I hope u come and visit us in Arabia….For we TREAT our women RIGHT…..ahahahahah….And about acting…No Female can act,..,.Period…The only thing they are good at is FAKING SEX……ahahhaahhahaha
how the hell do stupid boys know if women have orgasms……they only reason they fake it is because lot of men suck in bed……they are not man enough to pleasure a woman…….face it boys just because you cant do a good job it does not mean women dont have orgasms……you need to work on it….coz if your bad in bed women will spread the truth and women may not want to sleep with you….that way you boys wont have orgasms either
“your costume is your business”. Well, I can agree it can be a waste of mental energy to differentiate between when a chick is just immitating porn ‘cus she thinks that’s what you want, and really getting into it. Contrived ‘button pushing’ gets me a little pissed. Waiting for someone to descend in director’s chair get me about ready to slap someone upside their head! It’s wiseassed, isn’t it? Just an illusion of her being in control,
(whilst, the hole is hole, either way). Then she’s there w/ that little, shitty ‘conquest’ look on her face afterwards, ‘cus the ‘formula’ worked again! Whatever, bitch! Whatever you need to tell yourself.
Then, there are these ‘crossover’ lesbos, bull dykes..I’m not sure I really want to know d…who actually prefer it up the tailpipe, and blast what, all over you or something and grunt like a wild borehog.
Awww…you’re trying to immitate ejaculation…that’s so cute!
(And useless as tits on a borehog!)
Well I saw an episode once so I can confirm it sucks and I can confirm that Jeff is right. Eventhough he didn’t watch it.. So you don’t have to see something to be right..Now please go mess up martha steward’s blog or something.
You know calling people retarded while asking idiotic retorical questions and forgoing capital letters is a good sign of low mental activity, right?
are you militantly homosexual? like, do you go out and hunt women at the various places they go to?
what the fuck kind of mental processes could lead to the conclusion that over half of the human population is somehow less valuable than your obviously utterly worthless ass?
you’re profoundly retarded. profoundly.
oh, and guys who don’t think female orgasms are real… your dick is too small.
I don’t know what to make of all this. Everyone is just saying female orgasm does/doesn’t exist but no one has provided any proof to support either of those claims.
Come on, I want to know if it’s real or not.
Of course female orgasm doesn’t exist clair, unfortunately we can’t say the same about you.
Female Orgasm is real, duh why wouldn’t it be. the woman just has to know how to get off, but heck yes its real!. i can make myself orgasm in under a minute while watching porn, but during sex with my bf, it depends on whether the right part is getting rubbed, if you know what i mean. :)
That doesn’t mean its a good one.
I used to know a guy that thought that, then he got a girlfriend and when I asked him again and he said, “no, it’s real I found out this cool thing I can do…” I cut him off after that.
Do guys actually think it doesn’t exist or do they say it to be shit stirrers.
It’s not a myth.
Top 10 reasons why women orgasm is a myth.
1.Women have a vagina
2.Women have a clit
3.Women don’t have a penis
4.Women don’t have balls
5.Women have periods
6.Women fake orgasm
7.Women don’t know what they want
8.Women get penetrated
9.Women don’t even agree on how to define orgasm ,yet they turn around to say that they’ve experience multiple orgasm
10.Faking orgasm is the closest women will ever get to knowing orgasm.
11.Only the orgasm ridden gender will think that there is actuallya number 11 after I’ve clearly stated only 10 reason and only the orgasm monopolizing gender will find number 1 through 11 funny
How the fuck do you girls come up with this shit?! Is he gay? Wow, the originality, the brilliance, this is motherfucking amazing, bitch!
And what is something like gay? You mean he ignores you cunt’s vagina passes and that makes him homosexual? I love the way you shamelessly promote yourself in a realm where you don’t belong. There’s a name for that: prostitution.
Ne so horey, ne no like when you ignore fantazie worrld!
Fantasy worlds are cute and all, but watching a short little Japanese schoolgirl cry at the realization of the futility of her life is much cuter.