Knight to Pawn Four. Check and Bullshit.
Wherever there is a league of sports, there is a separate and exclusive women’s league to weep in its shadow. That’s because a man playing against a woman in any sport is like Superman playing against a team of cacti wearing funny, oversized sunglasses.
It’s cute and hilarious.
Man has proven his physical prowess for millions of years — even when it was completely unnecessary to do so. Actually, in the end that turned out to be the proof. All you men know what I’m talking about there.
However, what if it wasn’t just our mighty strength that kept women hopelessly tethered to the Earth while we men soared above like gods in our awe-inspiring spectacles of sport? What if was also because women aren’t as smart as men? That is to say, because men are smarter than women.
Certainly that makes sense to us men, but unlike women, we would also like a side order of proof with our meal. Let’s think for a moment. If only women had their own league and championship for a sport that was entirely mental, like chess.
They do.
Woah, wait a minute. They do? Can someone please flag down the Obvious Express delivery truck? I think the delivery man forget a box of clues in the back addressed to women world-wide.
I thought this women’s chess championship might be some kind of publicity stunt — like last year when that one woman “played” golf in the men’s league and Nike milked their biggest cash cow to date: female empowerment. Completely masculine kudos to those brilliant men at Nike marketing by the way because that’s one ripe motherfucking cow.
I discovered, however, that it wasn’t a joke at all. Disappointingly, it also wasn’t a bunch of models playing chess in lingerie. That’s when I decided that any further research was a waste of my invaluable time.
Women’s leagues of anything are like midgets following men around dressed up exactly like them. They look the same, but come on. What are you serious here?
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June 6th, 2005 at 12:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: a0f4c7b636e9d
Well quite, a GOOD man tennis player. Riggs was shite.
(ps it’s insisted not insited, and even that’s spelt with a ‘c’. Trust us, we’d know.)
June 6th, 2005 at 1:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: c225a03114c3c
The men on this website seem to assume that all men are better than all women, I doubt any men on this website could play even moderate female athletes and not be squashed.
June 6th, 2005 at 2:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 198450b4642a5
There is no rebuttal for this article Dick, kudo’s. Hey Dan what do you think will be more (or less for that matter) exciting, the womens little poker day on the 26th or next seasons wnba? Hey is the wnba even still around?
June 6th, 2005 at 3:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: c225a03114c3c
You hide behind your genders achievements because you have none of your own. Bragging about male sporting achievements will not make you a better sports player. Stop imagining yourself to be great just because people from a particular group that you are part of are. Make your own achievements.
June 7th, 2005 at 2:02 am - IP Man-Hash: a0f4c7b636e9d
Going back to your point about moderate female athletes, I doubt any moderate female athletes could play any moderate male athletes and not be squashed. Nicole, most of the stuff I say on this site is to wind people (mainly you) up. However, in this case, it is absolutely, blindingly, buttock clenchingly obvious that male athletes at any level are far superior to females at their own level.
June 7th, 2005 at 2:07 am - IP Man-Hash: a0f4c7b636e9d
And anyway, stop saying we have no sporting acheivements personally, when you don’t seem to have an enormous list of honours. I’d like to see you take on Ricky Hatton.
June 7th, 2005 at 2:46 am - IP Man-Hash: a0f4c7b636e9d
Or even Ricky Gervais or Rick Waller. At the hundered metres.
June 7th, 2005 at 8:28 am - IP Man-Hash: e420dbb177d6e
Well I am of cource not at a national level but I have won awards within my club for my tennis playing ability, which I play against shock horror males, and my ability exceeds many of them.
I’m confident in saying this and not hiding behind my gender by bragging about others achievemnets like some people I know….
June 7th, 2005 at 3:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
The fact alone that women have their own organized competitions in which mental strength and stamina is required shows that they knowingly accept that they are mentally inferior to males or they would try to compete in regular chess and poker tournaments. Another great article, and to all of the men, great comments everyone.
June 7th, 2005 at 5:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 198450b4642a5
Good comment Duster. Every womens league that has been made, was made for the sole reason that it is inferior to a mans. Otherwise there would be no need to seperate the two. So next time a woman says something ridiculous like we need to stop comparing genders. then tell them to stop giving us reasons to.
June 7th, 2005 at 10:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: b66d1569112b2
Hey Dick Masterson,
Remember when you beat me in tennis, even though I am a much superior athlete compared to you
June 8th, 2005 at 8:19 am - IP Man-Hash: e896095d0135d
women are soooooooooo much better
June 8th, 2005 at 9:46 am - IP Man-Hash: e420dbb177d6e
You haven’t heard of a little something called mixed doubles have you Duster?
June 9th, 2005 at 4:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
Mixed doubles was created at a charity outreach event in which some men allowed women to experience a small taste of what real professionalism and competition is like. The even alone solidifies the seperation in men and women, it’s almost a tutorial in how the game should be played (by the men). Have I every heard of mixed doubles? I scoff at the thought, I am a man, and therefore know absolutely everything, it is more of a question of rather or not I decide to share the information.
June 10th, 2005 at 9:07 am - IP Man-Hash: e420dbb177d6e
Mixed doubles are played in Wimbledon and every other major event.
June 11th, 2005 at 11:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 7c80bffc377e6
How dumb is it that you make a website dedicated to whining about who is playing chess?
Get a fucking life dude.
Chess is a whiny sport for pussies, now if we had some good old fashioned Glima and Jousting…THOSE are REAL sports. I’d rather see two knights stab at each other with lances than some idiots staring at a chess board. Hnefatafl is way better than Chess too, you can enslave people in that…
I once heard an archeologist say “We always assume our society is more advanced, I say, thats bullshit.” He was talking about the Vikings and the war at Götland against the Danes on the History Channel, thats right, the History Channel.
Although, it’s been said that I’m actually a man, and a barbaric one at that so I guess wanting to be smart is just in my oh so manly blood eh?
The reason women and men have separate groups for sports…A woman would literally eat your freaking spleen out.
June 13th, 2005 at 2:15 am - IP Man-Hash: e420dbb177d6e
‘I hate chicks’, I was just wondering whether you are on this website to insult men or women, because so far you have done an amazingly large amount of both.
June 13th, 2005 at 2:24 am - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
The Duster,
You hit the nail right on the head with mixed doubles there. Any time a man “competes” with a woman, it’s like the day at the ballpark when a bunch of kids in little league get to stand on the field for the national anthem.
Way to stand there kids. Now getting the fuck off the field would be great for everyone.
-Dick
June 13th, 2005 at 2:32 am - IP Man-Hash: e420dbb177d6e
You argument is pointless.
It’s like saying that because most of the world’s best sprinters are African, then Africans are superior to Caucasians, just because they are better at one activity.
The fact is all people are equal, but that doesn’t mean were not different.
June 16th, 2005 at 8:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 52a5c1cd79b61
yeah i agree your argue is pointless and GAY