Women suck at computers

Computers are all over the place: the bank, the sciences, the workplace — in other words, places where women are not. Is this a coincidence? You bet your ass that no it isn’t.

Women face countless problems in their pipe-dream of equality. The biggest being that the whole notion is childish and only realistic to an insane person or someone who has never had a job.

Women also suck at computers.

It’s the same way that men suck at being happy when their best friend gets dumped and then has to rely on them for emotional support. That just doesn’t make the kind of sense to us.

Computers are that way for women.

You see, women don’t understand computers because they don’t understand the basics of cause and effect — that the one causes the other. It’s childlike in its simplicity, I know, but it’s absolutely true.

This backwards mentality applies to computers just as easily as it applies to every other aspect of a woman’s life, which she is right about to hopelessly fuck up yet again by doing the exact same thing and expecting it somehow to magically work this time.

I saw this in action just yesterday while waiting in line for an ATM at the bank. For some absurd reason, a woman had been put in charge of her own finances and had promptly lost her ATM card in the machine. She started frantically pressing buttons, expecting that at any moment something profoundly contrary to what had happened was about to happen. Guess what. It didn’t.

What I’m saying here is that men are better than women because every time a man drops a rock in to a ditch, he knows it’s going to fall. Women think that if they do it enough, it will turn into a Snicker’s bar.

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619 Comments in 597 threads.»

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Comment by Nicole
2005-05-27 09:07:38

God Dick you are so ostentatious, despite all contrary evidence you still think you’re right.

And guess what, on this website where women are banned and men bitch about them, virtually the only people leaving comments apart from you are women, so it doesn’t seem like this website has been terribly successful in whatever its goals were.

 
Comment by Carlie
2005-05-27 08:53:59

Actually I never said anything about being the co-author of any of the things I typed up for the lawyers I worked for 2 years ago. So basically you’re just making stuff up again and pretending it makes sense. Good logic.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-05-27 08:48:28

Or it proves the third option: you’re completely wrong.

-Dick

 
Comment by Carlie
2005-05-27 08:36:43

What sounds like savvy business man-sense to you, sounds like a rip-off (there we got with lack of integrity again) and not the lawyer I would want to hire.

Also why have me do it all over again and have to pay me for what he could have done himself?

Your War & Peace bit had little to do with what I said. Nice try, though. It really just goes to show that you either can’t understand a few simple ideas or just choose not to.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-05-27 08:14:46

Computer illiterate? Or getting paid more than you to do the same job in triple the time. Sounds like savvy business man-sense to me.

By the way, using your absence of reasoning, the woman who typed up the original War and Peace hand-written manuscript is actually the co-author?

Stop the presses everyone! There’s bullshit afoot!

-Dick

 
Comment by Nicole
2005-05-27 08:09:36

Yeah there are some smart men out there, but there are some complete idiots too.

When my father got his new phone I had to teach him how to use it. My sister and I are both much better at anything to do with computers than him. And yet he is a hard working, intelligent man, this sort of goes against your theory of men being smarter doesnt it dick?

 
Comment by Carlie
2005-05-27 07:56:38

Yes, ridiculous but true. Last I checked it was I who worked in their office not you. One actually wrote everything out entirely by hand just to give it to me so I could type it up myself in less than a third it took him to write it out. That doesn’t sound like he has more important things to do. It sounds like he’s computer illiterate.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-05-27 07:53:51

Women are hired for office work for the same reason that mules are hired for carrying sherpas’ gear over mountainous terrain. The sherpa has more important things to do than carry a bunch of shit around on its back.

Do sherpas not know how to carry things from point A to point B? Are mules more intelligent than sherpas? I’ve almost never heard anything so ridiculous.

-Dick

 
Comment by Carlie
2005-05-27 07:46:56

Oh and how come all these businessmen have to hire women to do all their office work? I worked as a temp legal secretary for 3 different lawyers at once a few years ago, because they didn’t know how to use their computers to just write up an subpoena.

 
Comment by Carlie
2005-05-27 07:42:47

I’m not sure how you can say women suck at computers when they helped develop them from the very beginning.

There are lots of other things women helped or invented on their own you might not like to live without. However, in many cases they did not have the legal priviledge of patenting it, so they had their husband or other male relative patent it under his name.

Kevlar, some mighty fine life-saving stuff. Optical tools to remove cataracts. Not to mention treatments for Leukemia. And a bazillion others were all invented by women.

 
Comment by Nicole
2005-05-26 10:57:12

Hurm even with this website saying women have no sence of humor and men do u still cant take a joke…

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-05-26 10:40:13

A sperm bank would replace men in the world? Is that some kind of Zen exercise?

-Dick

 
Comment by Nicole
2005-05-26 10:36:16

Hurm i think you hate women because your afraid of them.

They are more sensitive than you. They understand others better than you. They can do pretty much everything men can (nomatter what you and your little nerd friends say women CAN cook, drive, use a computer and just about anything else) And guess what the only things we would need to replace the uses of men in the the world are:

1.) a vibrator

2.) a sperm bank

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-05-22 13:07:18

Can we put that down in the annals of female quotations, Kelly?

“Hey..i don’t even like snickers.”

Or would you care to drop an even better gem on us before you don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Men only.

-Dick

 
Comment by Kelly
2005-05-22 12:58:06

Hey..i don’t even like snickers.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2005-05-13 18:12:36

Could I interest you in a new paragraph? One size fits all.

-Dick

 
Comment by Badkitty
2005-05-13 17:51:27

so, if women are so inferior, why do you even bother with the thought of them, I mean, in this whole website, you do mention men and how much better they are, but this whole site is basically dedicated to women and how dumb they are….not only are you giving them the attention they desire (positive or negative) but you’ve basically throned them…even if throned as stupid! Not only that, if you actually understood women (which you obviously don’t, all you do is point out what you think their faults are) then you’d realize that saying “women prohibited from this site” basically is challenging women. Smart guy -rolls eyes- Ok, Dick Masterson, even your name implies the fact that you only understand men, and not even as well as you think (which is pretty funny) When you can understand women fully as well as men………that’s when I will call you a “MAN” but for now, you’re just a immature little kid that has illusions of grendeur….I know how to tune up my car, I also know how the engine works…..do you, mr man? and even then, I bet you’d look it up online anyway….lol since you’re SO good with a computer, i know 3 female computer technicians, one male computer technician……are you a computer technician? and a mechanic? and a professional porn star? Have you landed on the moon? Are you an employee of Nasa? Do you own your own company? Are you a psychologist? You know, you talk a lot, but you never really SAY anything……do you know what that means? It means if we took what you said and dragged it out we could fertalize the lawn…

 
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