The MANifesto

You can’t spell exactly without X and Y

All Women Hate Guns

Posted in The MANifesto on October 6th, 2006

Guns are awesome. In fact, a gun is the manliest thing there is.

I take that back. The manliest thing there is would be a hot car or some kind of super motorcycle with guns attached to it. In that case, it’s a case of chicken and egg. Is the car manlier because of the guns or are the guns manlier because of the car? What about a tank? Where does it play into this manly game?

Wherever the fuck it wants. It’s a tank. [Read more]

Germain Greer is a Cunt (And a Whore) Part II

Posted in The MANifesto on September 8th, 2006

After writing my original article entitled Germaine Greer is a Cunt, I did some research on the dear lady doctor. After all, I did come at “Dr.” Greer like a venomous Ferrari (I’m sure I’m not the first — if you know what I sexually mean), and I didn’t want to sound half-cocked. I’m a man. If I’m going to sound anything it’s going to be all-cocked and I want to know about it first.

Not only did I discover that I was completely right in saying Germaine Greer is a cunt and also everything else I say about women not being as good as men, but I also found that Germaine Greer is even cuntier than I implied.

And she’s a whore. [Read more]

Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

Posted in The MANifesto on September 1st, 2006 reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.

Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well. [Read more]

All Women Are Whores Part III

Posted in The MANifesto on August 30th, 2006

In the building phase, I tentatively called this article, “Men Are Better Than Women At Being Nerds.” That’s true on its own, but what I’m going to talk about here is so much bigger and more bombastic I’ve decided to up the ante.

All women are whores. I know it and you know it, and now nerds do too. [Read more]

NOW Is Useless (And Fucking Old)

Posted in The MANifesto on August 23rd, 2006

NOW, the National Organization for Women, turned 40 on Tuesday. If NOW is anything like regular women (and it is because it’s completely fucking worthless — that’s clue number one) it means NOW spent today recovering from a dozen Cosmopolitans and half a dozen rejections from local 25 year olds.

Guess whose bed NOW sneaked out of at about 8:15 this morning. That’s right; your best friend’s. [Read more]

Fuck Marriage

Posted in The MANifesto on August 21st, 2006

This is a very important and very special MenAreBetterThanWomen because it’s a treatise on my favourite topic: marriage. The conclusion is this:

Do not get married!

Do not do it now. Do not do it later. Do not do it for looks. Do not do it for money. Do not do it for sex. Do not do it because people want you to. Do not do it because a woman wants you to. Do not do it because The Bible says to do it. Do not do it to have children. Do not do it for tax purposes. And especially — the most important reason of all reasons every thrown into a reason oven and baked on Man degrees for a day and a half — do not get fucking married for love! [Read more]

Women Are Killing Mankind

Posted in The MANifesto on June 21st, 2006

Women are killing me.

I mean that figuratively, like when you tell a woman to change the channel from her stupid bullshit and she asks you which remote is for the TV for the fuck-hundredth time.

The TV doesn’t change the channel. The fucking cable box does!

That’s figuratively killing me. Women are also literally killing me. [Read more]

Why Women Hate Sex: Part 2

Posted in The MANifesto on June 14th, 2006

We all know women hate sex because they’re lousy at it. The missionary position proved that long before I was on Earth cracking the whip on the ass of women all over the place.

But why else do women hate the Horizontal Mambo? I’m a man so I don’t know the meaning of the word “stop” or “enough is enough”. That’s why we have things like cars and automatic pistols. If women ran the world we would have stopped after inventing a pile of wood and right before lighting it on fire.

Enough is enough! You already stacked all that wood!

Men are all about the extra mile. [Read more]