The MANifesto

You can’t spell exactly without X and Y

Are Those Catepillars on Your Face or Crayon?

Posted in Doings and Dealings, The MANifesto on June 5th, 2006

Have you ever seen women’s eyebrows? I can sum them up in one word: fucking gross.

It’s hilarious that women will do everything short of sewing a giant, fuck-off, red A for “Attention Whore” on the clothing of women who get their breasts enhanced, but women can’t stop fucking with their eyebrows. It’s the same thing.

Oh wait it’s not. It’s the same thing except one is gross and one is gorgeous. [Read more]

Women Comment Here Because They Want to Fuck Me.

Posted in The MANifesto on May 8th, 2006

Women are forbidden from this entire site. They’re forbidden from reading the articles here. They’re forbidden from commenting here. And most of all, they are forbidden from sending me bitchy emails about either of those rules.

So why the fuck do they?

The reason why they’re forbidden is simple: women do not have the man-brain capacity to understand the truth, which is what this site is. Trying to fit the answers these articles contain into a woman’s head is like trying to put ten pounds of shit in a one pound bag. You just end up breaking the poor, pretty little bag and getting shit all over the place. [Read more]

MySpace is Full of Sluts and Whores

Posted in The MANifesto on April 28th, 2006

Does everyone know of this thing called MySpace? Apparently it’s a website for young girls to practice their whoring skills from the comfort of their own home. This service is provided for free.

Jesus Christ, it sickens me.

It sickens me beyond the garish colors and wildly blinking tags of text. Nay, that’s merely a sickness of stomach. MySpace, however, sickens me straight to the core of my morality.

This is my point today: when left to their own devices, men construct things out of other things. We build friendships out of people; we make wheels from slabs of rock; we make one long straw out of several other straws. Women, on the other hand, get their whore on. [Read more]

Women are a Drag, Man. Drag Man?

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, The MANifesto on April 16th, 2006

Tootsie was a pretty good movie. So was Mrs. Doubtfire and Ladybugs. What did these movies have in common? Men in drag.

I’ve seen women in drag before and they would not make a good movie. You can always tell a woman in drag because women are shitty actors and know dick about men and/or acting like them. Usually it’s a couple of “lesbians” out playing a round of Normie for the Night; pretending either one of them is getting a second look from anything with a pulse, but sometimes it’s just some extremely ugly chick.

The point is that I’ve always written off women in drag with a big red marker that says, ‘Fuck you’ — until I heard about Norah Vincent. [Read more]

Rock the Vote, Don’t Tip the Vote Over

Posted in The MANifesto on April 14th, 2006

The world used to be a much nicer place. I know this because I’m a man and that means that I read books. Books and dogs and the spirits of liquor are a man’s best friend, whereas a woman’s best friend is a fun house mirror that makes her look even fatter than she is and a tape recorder shaped like a man’s head she can bitch to about it.

The only mistake man ever made was valuing a woman’s opinion at more than the worth of a dead dog. They can’t do shit. They can’t think for shit. What the fuck is the point. Also, women shouldn’t vote. [Read more]

30 Feet of Awesome — The MABTW Billboard

Posted in The MANifesto on March 15th, 2006

When it comes to Guerrilla marketing, women are donkeys. Marketing in general is about selling something that doesn’t sell itself — namely anything that isn’t boobs. Since men invented it, it’s perfectly natural and to be expected that we’re millions of times better than women at it. That’s just common sense.

Wasn’t there a Tyra Banks show where that dim-witted bean pole dressed up in a fat suit and everyone was a dick to her? I don’t know because I don’t watch that female-type show and I certainly don’t want to hear if I’m right about it. I know I’m right. I’m a man and it’s part of my manhood to predict women and their endless parade of groundhog bullshit. Look here comes another float or a truck covered in posies! What a fucking surprise! [Read more]

Want to Help Women? Punch One in the Face

Posted in The MANifesto on March 8th, 2006

Women have no fear of anything.

They have no fear of any shit breaking because some man will always fix it in a charming attempt to fuck them — which usually works. They have no fear of losing their jobs because they don’t ever support themselves anyway. Women are like shrieking monkeys jumping like silly jackasses from tree to tree in a forest of men with big burly arms and deep pockets.

Women especially have no fear of saying or doing anything stupid. You really want to do something for women? Next time you hear one acting stupid, just knock the shit out of her. [Read more]

Now You’re Talking Double Team

Posted in The MANifesto on January 30th, 2006

I was sitting in my favorite chair yesterday evening drinking a glass of Black Label and ruminating on the myths in our society. One struck me as being especially ridiculous.


‘Marriage,’ I scoffed — or at least I’m sure that I did. And any man will do exactly the same if he’s not afraid of having his balls ripped off by someone who has just finished a grueling 20 hour work week. I’m talking about women. Millionaires aren’t in the habbit of ripping balls off when people say the most obvious goddamn thing in the world. [Read more]