Are Those Catepillars on Your Face or Crayon?
Have you ever seen women’s eyebrows? I can sum them up in one word: fucking gross.
It’s hilarious that women will do everything short of sewing a giant, fuck-off, red A for “Attention Whore” on the clothing of women who get their breasts enhanced, but women can’t stop fucking with their eyebrows. It’s the same thing.
Oh wait it’s not. It’s the same thing except one is gross and one is gorgeous.
Of all the stupid, time-wasting, bullshit, masturbatory exercises women engage in for the sake of Cosmetique, eyebrow art is by far the stupidest and most masturbatory. Who are women gardening their eyebrows for anyway? Men? Do any men subscribe to Hot Eyebrows Monthly? I’ve never even heard of that publication and I’ve heard of a lot of them; so I doubt it.
How about women then? No I’m pretty sure it isn’t women either. Women don’t look other women in the face in the first place.
That’s not common knowledge either, that women don’t look other women in the eye when they’re speaking to each other, but it is true. See, women always bitch about how men constantly stare at their chests while completely dominating them in any conversation, but women are exactly the same. It’s a species thing. It’s got nothing to do with sex.
It’s the same way artists and advertisers utilize white space to manipulate the eye. There are certain things the human gaze is simply drawn to — magnetically. White space on the one hand and in the other, boobs. Don’t let women make you feel bad for being a human being.
It must be caterpillars then. Women shave their eyebrows to make sure caterpillars don’t try to have sex with their faces while they’re sleeping.
I guess that’s crazy isn’t it! Well, moisturizer and anti wrinkle creams don’t do shit and women still use them. Is that less crazy than plucking your eyebrows due to a caterpillar narcofornophobia? That means a fear of caterpillars having sex with your eyebrows in your sleep, or as women prefer to call it: date rape.
Women are all beautiful and special things — each one like a beautiful summer day or a classic Cadillac convertible — and they just don’t realize it. Women and their natural bodies and eyebrows disgust them. That’s why they do stupid shit like pencil them in and are extremely uptight all the time about walking around the house in a bra.
What is the big fucking deal about that anyway? It’s called a compromise.
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September 24th, 2006 at 7:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
By all means, but you never struck me as ‘filler’.
September 24th, 2006 at 7:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
No, but I am filling.
September 24th, 2006 at 11:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 304bc5804cc76
Women, shut the fuck up and fuck off my site.
-Dick
September 25th, 2006 at 1:59 am - IP Man-Hash: a5d80956a3e6c
It appears like English but I cannot make any sense out of it.
All I saw of your post above was a poor attempt at sarcasm directed at sandra, it was a condesending little worm of a post designed not to encourage but to put-down. I called you up on that because I did not like it, your written tone was mocking and I didn’t see how sandra deserved that.
Even in this part of your post you continue to mock but seem to not realize that you are doing it:
Now it appears that you are contradicting yourself and back-peddling. Fine. Given that sometimes your posts are very hard to read and follow, it is also possible that I misunderstood.
September 25th, 2006 at 4:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
Nope, no contradiction, no back-peddling…just a woman acknowledging the importance of being earnest, literally.
You called me on my bitchy-ness and I responded by attempting to qualify my comments so as to be less ‘inadvertent’.
After ‘your’ subsequent entries I allowed the…wisdom [for lack of a better, less complimentary word] to sink in and [cor-]responded accordingly with an honest declaration of respect, etc. for this young woman’s wherewith all.
Sometimes a cigar…
September 25th, 2006 at 4:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
I don’t think they got the joke, but it was a good one. Sweet!
September 25th, 2006 at 5:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
I don’t think they got the joke, but it was a good one. Sweet!
There’s a reason why I didn’t finish the ‘quote’ and that was because I didn’t mean ‘God-Dialogue’ per se, and was instead mis[s]-using the ’saying’ to illustrate the ‘first principle’ form of oral communication, i mean verbal, verbal communication…
Now if as in ‘God’s Ears’, Sonyad was referring to some other appendage and/or orifice, I am [again admittedly] intrigued…
September 25th, 2006 at 5:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
It was just a joke. Sheeesh!
September 25th, 2006 at 6:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
(P)oops!
Well at least taking matters into my own hands was more ‘intriguing’ this time…
September 25th, 2006 at 7:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
*sigh*
Only a woman could ruin the humor in a fart/shit joke.
September 25th, 2006 at 8:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
Geez, I’m sorry that I ruined ‘it’ for you, on the other hand, literally, my sigh was that of relief…
March 15th, 2007 at 7:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 86f79bd2f8407
This was absolutely the most well placed, well put and absolute perfect comment I have ever seen. The context and timing was that of instant legend.
Praise you, Mr. Matherson
August 12th, 2007 at 12:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Dick…there’s two magic words in your comment you can use for yourself. They’re right after “and” and right before “my.”
August 12th, 2007 at 12:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
Sorry, I can explain that for the rest of you, but I’m sure you’ll need your crayons.
August 12th, 2007 at 12:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I completely agree with this rant. Women look idiotic with drawn on, perpetually-surprised-looking eyebrows that melt on any day over eighty-degrees.
Why don’t you, as men, speak up and change this. After all, we women do it because we perceive men find it attractive! Isn’t that just a kick in the ass?!?
August 12th, 2007 at 1:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 51f86d6005c2d
No, you do it for social acceptance among your backstabbing female friends.
August 12th, 2007 at 1:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
How old are you, J? I’m guessing preschooler here.
- Fragma - Just Like A Teardrop
October 20th, 2007 at 9:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Dick said -”Women are all beautiful and special things — each one like a beautiful summer day or a classic Cadillac convertible — and they just don’t realize it.”
That is the sweetest thing I ever heard on this site.
April 27th, 2008 at 2:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 27c1ff81f98e2
I’ve told them to quit shaving their eyebrows. They all have “beauty consultants” who make them think they should be doing this.
April 27th, 2008 at 2:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 27c1ff81f98e2
An example of a hot woman: Amanda Peet. No eyebrow plucking there.