Big Fat Potatoes
Men are better than women at being coach potatoes. As a man I can tell you that this is certainly true. Whenever a woman sits on a couch she is the same frail ball of nerves and neuroses that she was behind the wheel or when she tried to “help” a man do goddamn anything at all.
When a man sits on a couch, however, he is one thing and one thing only — totally relaxed. That’s why a woman should never talk to a man if he’s sitting on the couch. Not only is she shrill, annoying, full of shit, and has nothing of worth to talk about; but that man is so relaxed right then he has actually relaxed his hearing completely. As a man, that’s his prerogative.
No woman does anything during the course of a day. Let me say that first. If you ask a woman about her day, she can prattle off a litany of shit, but that’s exactly what all of it is. Shit. Women can have productive days like a parrot can have a conversation with you. It’s just a repetition of the same crap it repeats everyday until it chokes on a handful sunflower seeds. Picking up laundry is not a thing that you did today. Neither is closing the door behind your fat ass when you got home.
That being said, we can completely throw out the notion that men are less active than women just because we’re better at relaxing. And not just because I say so! No, no. I have some full blown scientific evidence this time. Just like I always do.
A recent study that I’ll link at the bottom of this article says women spend more time than men sitting at home on their fat asses doing absolutely nothing. Big fucking surprise. Here’s another brain buster for you: don’t spit mustard all over yourself before you go on a date. You know how many people I needed to ask to know that? None. I’m a man and I’m able to think in terms of “why?” and “what if?” Men are the only species on Earth that have this ability. For instance, I can use it to ask myself why men relax less than women. Is it because we simply enjoy physical exercise?
No, because we’re working on a level of base survival here. We’re dealing with man at his most raw and efficient. Preference has nothing to do with it. It’s like women. Sure, there are some who don’t want to be useless pieces of shit. They would prefer to be respected. But guess what, Nature’s already strapped you to the ground sweetheart. Hope you like the view.
The real reason men are better than women at being couch potatoes is because men can actually relax.
When you’re a woman, there is no feeling of accomplishment. There’s no finish line or stairway to heaven that says, “Hey! You’re here! Way to go.” All there is a big hamster wheel and an alarm clock called a brain rattling the fuck out of the inside of her skull. Does that sound relaxing?
It means that men can be polite and can listen to other people’s problems, but it only means that we can get twice as much potato-ing done in half the time.
The Most Obvious Thing I’ve Ever Fucking Seen
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January 28th, 2006 at 1:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 192a7f0f83d17
Haha, awesome!
August 26th, 2007 at 7:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: b24fa70c8e643
“When you’re a woman, there is no feeling of accomplishment”.
So true by my observations of them. They seem to have no honor, drive to achieve, or integrity in anything they do. They are the intellectual sloths of huMANity, sitting back on the free ride they think their vagina entitles them to.
It’s professional laziness.
In pre-modern times, such non-contributing members of society would be purged from the group for their unworthiness.
Add modern bitchiness and entitlement syndrome, and the problem is even worse. Insulated from the accountability that once fittingly applied to reprehensible female behaviour, we now see an almost vicious pussy power exploitation of the male populace throughout all Western society.
Regrettably, this power of the pussy continues to entrap many unenlightened male victims. Literature is full of references to the phenomenon, from Shakespeare to the Sirens of Greek mythology.
Each new man who learns the simple truths of this problem, is one less that gets exploited. In time, women will return to their place because they will simply have no choice but to behave. Men will not continue to tolerate a female populace out of control.
Words out baby!
August 26th, 2007 at 9:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
That’s a remarkably astute insight. It explains why so many women expect to be paid for being lazy. They’re professionals.
-wolfe
April 25th, 2008 at 12:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
What about us women who serve/have served in the military? There’s no way in hell my time there was unproductive. Not a single minute of my day was wasted, or spent sitting on my ass. So obviously not ALL women are lazy or are trapped in repetitive, and dull lives….
April 25th, 2008 at 12:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
We wish you hadn’t.
-Dick
April 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
Why…..? We have the right to fight for our country as well…
April 28th, 2008 at 11:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: a09182ecba5d2
If women want to help this country, they can join the terrorists. Women are stupid enough to hold the grenade and throw the pin. That’s the only way they’ll help us.
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kara_Spears_Hultgreen