Female Medics Are Deadly
Every time you walk over a freeway, you make a choice not to throw batteries at the cars below. Think about it. It’s not like you’d get caught. What are they going to do? Stop on the fucking freeway and climb the overpass? I’d like to see that.
But you choose not to because an 80mph freeway battery shower would fuck up a lot of people’s lives.
Ten times out of ten, men make the choice to be a good person.
Ten times out of ten, Female EMT’s choose to endanger people’s lives.
Female EMT’s are deadly.
Before I get started on today’s topic, I want to post my inspiration. It comes in the form of fan mail.
“Dick, I work in a small town. Last week, a 180lbs. kid had a diabetic attack and the two female medics on call could not lift him to carry him down some stairs. They had to call the only cop on duty, myself, to help them carry this kid. It made me feel great to be able to help someone, but I thought about something. What happens when my dad who lives out of town has a serious heart attack and the only people who can help him are women? I won’t always be around to carry patients for the ambulance crew! I do my job and they should do theirs; and if they can’t, they should quit.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself. I can only say it shorter: Female Medics are Deadly!
When you cut off a finger or break your leg in half in a drunk driving accident, the people who climb out of an ambulance to hold your stupid ass back together on the way to the hospital are called Emergency Medical Technicians. They are the first line of offense against Death. And that’s your first clue that women shouldn’t be them. “Technician” may rhyme with “beautician”, but the two are very different jobs. One requires a brain, while the other is a bastardization of the term and requires nothing more than a high school degree, a failing marriage, and an ability to never shut the fuck up.
Perhaps the latter two are related?
Equality
If men are women are truly equal, then at best, a female medic is a male medic with the strength of a Muppet. And since a 180lbs diabetic coma can happen at any moment, maybe a Muppet isn’t the best thing to have wheeling stretchers and fucking oxygen tanks all around town.
Actually, Muppets are a perfect metaphor for women. Both need at least one man to keep them from being totally fucking useless.
Musical Chairs
The job force is a complex entity. It’s more complicated than pointing at someone and saying, “They’re getting paid! They must be needed!” Like some goddamn jackass. If you say shit like that, head up to Washington DC with a duffle bag full of cocaine for a weekend introductory course in Economics for the Retarded. Don’t worry about the tuition. Your tax dollars already paid for it.
Just because female EMT’s exist, doesn’t mean we need them. Women are never hired out of necessity. There are always men around to do the job. Just look at World War II. We needed the shit out of medics in World War II, but did any women have to step up to do their share? Fuck no. Women didn’t do shit during World War II because women can’t do shit. They couldn’t then and they can’t today.
In musical chairs, you can’t sit in a chair someone is already sitting in. That was the point.
Out of Town
There’s an old saying. People lie, but numbers don’t. And that’s what makes the numbers great. They can pile shit on women day and night without giving a fuck.
There’s another saying that’s not quite as popular. It goes, “When I’m having a heart-attack, I don’t give a fuck about diversity quotas.” It’s not as popular, but it’s just as true. When you’re in trouble, it doesn’t matter if only 1% of EMT’s are women. That 1% might fucking kill you.
Black, Chinese, French, Indian — I don’t care. As long as they think There Will Be Blood had a happy ending, I trust them to work a set of paddles.
Manclusion
The real reason women are hired for EMT’s or anything else is the same reason my bedroom wall has shoe prints all over it. Women are like broken smoke detectors at 3 in the morning. After ten seconds of their shit, you’ll do anything to shut them up.
If you know any girls who dream of saving lives one day by driving an ambulance, tell them they’ll save more lives by staying home. Feminism didn’t do this. Every woman who picked up a Grey’s Anatomy textbook did.
Kill the dream.
Related Articles:
Pages: [2] 1 » Show All
Nah, female EMTs are hired because if only guys were hired the guy in charged would get sued for all he’s worth, and who wants to give all their money to women to use on worthless crap?
First thing first your an idiot and when you need someone to save your life your not going to care if its a man or woman. I’m a female EMT and yes there are women out there in every field that abuse the physical disavantages but guess what I do my share. I’ve wrestled, been kicked, hit, spit, and bite by many patients both male and female but I still come to work everyday. It takes a strong person to do what we do and working in one of the highest paid goverment EMS agencies I am proud to be a woman doing it. Just for your information by the way when we learn our skills we train with a 259 pd manican and you better believe I know how to do my job. So don’t stereotype alll women in this category cause without us you may just die someday.
Spelling correctly and avoiding grammatical errors isn’t that hard, you should try it!
You happen to be the one who spelled Gray’s Anatomy wrong. Gray’s Anatomy is a textbook. Grey’s Anatomy is a soap opera. Also, that comma should have been a semi-colon. You comment was a run-on sentence. Checking your facts and using correct punctuation isn’t hard; you should try it!
I’m sorry “your” comment. I forgot to proofread, but at least I corrected myself.
I’ve been an EMT for a few years, and I don’t care what robot you trained on. I don’t remember the name of mine because afterwards I was wrist deep in some gangbangers chest in the ER. Also if you are intelligent as you affirm, it is not “and bite by many people.” (Grammar counts). When I was laying semiconscious in a pool of my own blood, and 3 female medics continuously dropped me on the way to the evac chopper I was just thinking about how it takes but 1 infantryman to move me 100 meters pretty quickly. I weigh about 220 with my armor and all of my gear, the aidbag is another 65. They can’t keep up with me on a 12 mile road march, none the less carrying a casualty. I literally heard “Ewww, his blood is all over me”.
Quoting this mother fucker: ‘I literally heard “Ewww, his blood is all over me”.’
This right there might as well count as the quote for the entire article.
serviceMENarebetterthanservicedWOMEN.
*when you need someone to save your life your not going to care if its a man or woman.*
Everyone cares
I’ve been an EMT for 25 years. The only reason they hire female EMT’s is because of affirmative action. EMT’s in NJ are only paid about $8 an hour
Robert, thanks for doing what you do! You do a job that would send most people running, and you do it to save lives.
Meanwhile, women do it to show their fathers that they’re “real women” and don’t give two fucking shits if a victim dies. As long as they get a paycheck and have something to tell daddy that will surely piss him off over Thanksgiving Dinner, well, that’s enough for them.
Fuck female EMTs.
I mean it, fuck em.
Go to hell cause when someone needs 911 help they don’t care if they have a dick or not. I make $14 an hr in FL and I trained with a 250 pd manicane and guess what you better believe I know how to do my job.
Actually if I’m injured and in a burning building I DO want male rescue workers. The feminists demanding equal numbers can stay behind for all I care. No loss. They can accept their Darwin Awards post-humously anyway.
You mean before or after they pass out from all the heavy lifting or -gasp- breaking a nail?
If you actually knew how to do your job, you would not be offended when we say that we do not want someone who does not know how to do their job trying to save us.
No way 8 dollars that just ain’t right!
Nice save from the Olympics post. Man that one sucked.
When i lived in Las Vegas, I had to go to a clinic and get a shot. While i was getting ready to leave i suffered some kind of reaction to the medicine they gave me and litterally passed out. I’m 6ft tall, about 165lbs… they didn’t have a single male employee in this clinic. When I came to, I was being dragged by my ankles to an examination room (about 15ft), once they got me in there, they left me on the floor and stuffed a towel under my head. Once I recovered and got myself up off the floor… I paid my bill, they tried to schedule a follow up, and i told them in no uncertain terms… “There is no way in hell I’m ever coming back here”. Right on Dick!!!!
Dick rarely interacts with you fucking clowns who post on here. He just likes that the main page shows 500 comments a post. That makes him look really really good. When really most of it is just a battle between some cunt and some other cunts and some dudes and some shit.
Psiros, Maybe you should write a comment so people could understan what the FUCK you’re talking about! Men listen to tits? YES not all the time but we do, tits are great you silly bastad!!
For clarification, please take a look at Dick’s Classy Broads to explain further the context of my comment. I would apologize for the confusion, but, as a man, I’m not willing to risk the severe loss of man points. Just check it out and all will be made clear.
Nice post. As a teacher from Europe, I can say that even in non-physical activity, girls/women are not as good. They need TONS of help to achieve somewhat the same as boys/men do. Thanks for your site, dick. It’s an inspiration. I have bought your book, but at the time being I am reading Bernard Chapin’s “Women: Theory and Practice”. There’s a lot of good information in that book, amongst others the author points to over 100 researchers who have come to the fact that women are more violent than men in relationships. Even I was surprised at this, but I can see that it’s true. Men are so much better than women. Actually, women aren’t good at all.
Sorry about the typos/grammar errors. I should have proofread this more thoroughly. Thought I would MAN up at the outset and acknowledge my mistakes. If this post should inspire any hostility, and I’m sure I can place the source from which that will come, please make a futile attempt to be poignant and attack the subject in the most vulgar way possible, rather than simply act as a “human spell check”. Thanks!
Off with your penis!
Yes, sir! I’ll be sure to get that penis right off! [ibid Dick Masterson - Isn't This Hate Speech article. Damn, this man is truly a fount of literery inspiration!]. I never cease to be amazed at how witty we men can be with so few words!
Amen to that mudda fucka.
Tits RULE!! You wacky prick!
This article serves to exemplify and further reinforce your assertion that women stop maturing emotionally the moment they hit puberty. It’s at that time that their whims can be fulfilled by pointing to something and saying, “I want that!” As you’ve so succinctly stated before, men can’t stop listening to tits. So some man is going to hear that shrill wail of want, connect it to the tits that in the vicinity of the screeching demand, and placate it (or “them”, as it were). Of course, he can’t be blamed for acting on his instinctive comMANtment to peace, harmony, and generally avoiding things that are a pain in his ass. Unfortunately, the psychological doctrin of positive reinforcement tells us that this will only encourage further shrill wailing by rewarding this behavior.
I think we can all take solace in the fact that, as men, we have to deal with challenges for which there may be little solution available. But, as men, we’re equipped to do so. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes a great many good lives can be lost because someone did something stupid for a piece of ass. Again, as men, we grin, bear, and shut the fuck up. Fucking manly!
Excellent article. Good to see you back posting.
good post.
better than the olympics one.
true as well
FT
fuck off dick… you are a dick… all piss and cum
Dear Paula,
Nobody invited you here.
Sincerely,
Piss and Cum.
Ya know, the wisdom that is man, and more specifically the wisdom that is the man that is Dick Masterson, is almost without fail always right. I’ve yet to see an article that wasn’t dripping with truth like ball sweat in a gym (back before broads forced their way in thanks to their senseless yammering).
However, despite this incontrovertible fact, there are occasions, rare though they might be, that I can understand someone might disagree with Dick. Perhaps, despite all of the evidence that marriage is anal ass raping with a quad sized dildo called Family Court, you, think that marriage has benefits. Perhaps, you arrive at this conclusion, idiotic as it is, because of “love”, or “lust”. Perhaps your religion requires marriage. In cases like these we understand your disagreeing with Dick, and the other Masters of Enlightened Notions that frequent this haven of veracity.
However, there are times, most actually, that Dick writes an article that is so beyond truth, so unquestioned in its reasoning, so completely and utterly fuck full of common sense, that disagreeing simply forces one of two conclusions. You, are a woman. Or, you are a broadgina. Mangina is the common venacular of course. Other terms would include pussy whipped. Fucked in the head. Stupid beyond comparison. What all of these have in common is simply actions befitting a woman, or a monkey.
Which really, is there a difference between the two? As another wise man once inferred, a woman is really just a monkey, with a language. Likewise a broadgina. Thus, you.
Now, I am not privy to Dick’s stance on broadginas on his site. But I am sure that he will not entirely object to my stating the following advice to you.
Fuck off this website.
May you have a lovely day.
As a world record holding pro video game player I’d like to say, “Fuck whores- you can all suck my cock. i’m a the best.” I’m a chargin ma lazers.
Haha, off-topic, but check out this mantasticle post on CL:
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/m4w/805007558.html
Awesome!
ahahahahahahahahah
In case you missed that gentlemen, I shall repeat:
ahahahaahahahahahaha
Thank you for your time.
This article made my day. My girlfriend is a registered EMT. I work in a hospital surrounded by women. I do NOT seek medical attention unless absolutely necessary. You would not believe how many times a day I witness some gal nearly (sometimes actually) kill a patient through laziness and/or ineptitude.
Well you have a duty to turn your EMT cunt girlfriend into a stay at home mom don’t you see?
Or there is blood on your hands motherfucker.
No blood. She is registered but she doesn’t work as an EMT. She just wants to drive the ambulance. Just as scary if you ask me. As for stay at home mom, that is an awful idea. Stay at home is fine but what man would want to tie himself finacially to a women no matter how great she may seem?
Hey wait, please tell us more about those girls nearly killing a patient by laziness. It’ld help with the topic.
Women have no common sense and almost no critical thinking skills. Nursing programs work to strip their students of their critical thinking skills. For some reason (vast superiority), male nurses can make it through with their ability to think. I am a phlebotomist. I draw blood. I have no medical training whatsoever. I have saved several people from being given lethal doses of potassium. I have saved someone from a GI bleed. I have stopped someone from having blood transfusions that no doctor ever ordered. Women nurses do not want to care for you. (Exceptions are so rare that it is safe to always assume this.) Women like people to THINK they’re caring. But once a woman gets that power over her patients, all that compassion and caring goes out the window. Couple this deranged power trip with a woman’s inability to retain knowledge, and you have what is essentially an involuntary serial killer. No one should have to pay for their own negligent homicide. If you must go to the hospital, find a male friend who is well-versed in hospital policy and has some medical knowledge. Have that person stay with you the entire time. It will save your life.
I was getting a blood draw once and the phlebotomist was a broad. She stuck the needle so far in I could feel it hitting bone or cartilage or some fuck other thing. Of course it hurt like fuck all, blood draws never hurt me. So very calmly I told her that she was hitting me bone and she needed to remove the needle.
Think she would have accepted that? Of course not, she’s a woman. Her answer was “DONT tell me how to do my job.” And then she proceeded to ATTEMPTED to thrust the needle in even further. I grabbed her hand and squeezed and said “This is MY body, and I MOST CERTAINLY WILL tell you how to do your job. Now, remove the needle.”
She came back later and apologized and that’s well and good. But fuck all if she did not deserve to be in that profession. It is not a contest. Fuckin do your job or get the fuck out.
Scubadonc and Frantz, the kind of info you just shared is truly the stuff that saves lives. Thanks for posting this!
I just read that manspirational post,
and now I am gonna go fuck a girl’s holes.
Psiros, consider it our manly duty to inform, educate and pontificate. We’re men after all. Fuck female medics. I mean it, fuck them. That would make a great porn. Some two broads come to pick up some fat fuck, they cannot. He recovers and FUCKS them in the pie hole.
fuck Them.
the last post was fine
“It’s more complicated than pointing at someone and saying, “They’re getting paid! They must be needed!” Like some goddamn jackass. If you say shit like that, head up to Washington DC with a duffle bag full of cocaine for a weekend introductory course in Economics for the Retarded. Don’t worry about the tuition. Your tax dollars already paid for it.”
Dick, how do you consistently pull pearl nuggets like this out of your ass? Are you the only man alive with an oyster attached (and as an exception, from behind)?
No woman could pull off a metaphor like that from her steaming clambox! That was a pure piece of wisdom.
Here’s another classic I think we can all relate to…
“Women are like broken smoke detectors at 3 in the morning. After ten seconds of their shit, you’ll do anything to shut them up.”
this is soo fucking true….
LOLLL soo true, and once you think their fixed they go off again
It was just a very well made film- a stark portrayal of greed, power and evil. DDL’s performance was amazing, as always. I enjoyed Paul Dano’s work in his dual roles, as well. He’s going to be a fine actor, I think.
As much as I enjoyed TWBB, I liked No Country For Old Men more, although they were sort of similar in theme (greed) and style(stark).
Spot on! This should include FireMEN and PoliceMEN. Women intruding and endangering everybody all over the place.
Oh my good fellow man Hans, you are mistaken. Women would make perfect PoliceWOMEN. They would FUCK the robbers, thus cutting them off from the rest of the world, and fellow freakin’ men do something they atleast can do. While ofcourse fucking the policewomen also. Big one orgy into to the place behind bars. And I’m not talking about strip poles in strip clubs.
Nice.