I cannot tell a lie…because I’m a man.
Women are all liars. At least that’s what every man in the world thinks. Indeed I myself thought this for quite some time.
That’s when I realized I was wrong.
But not wrong in the way a woman is wrong whenever she opens her mouth or engages in any kind internal dialogue; wrong in way that is simply not right and not dangerous. Here’s the real scoop.
Women are as allergic to history as children who are allergic to bees are allergic to bees — this includes even their own history. Let’s turn to The History Channel for just a moment. We know the audience of the History Channel is predominantly male because all the commercials they run are for things like home ownership, stock investment, and local and national political agendas. These are things that women have about as much place in as a steering wheel on a toilet.
To us men, the History Channel is like a sweet, sweet nectar — a repository of precious facts and details about our world that we as men can leverage into solutions for the future. It makes us feel good about ourselves and it makes us feel positive about the future. Let’s take the gas crisis for instance.
Gas is running out, and prices are running up. That’s a serious problem, but as men let’s take just a moment and solve it. First, I will draw a parallel from The History Channel. I can easily remember one of many documentaries on what did General Dwight D. Eisenhower did when he faced many problems of equal or even greater severity during World War II. What he did was stop talking about it like a woman (when it was appropriate) and he took care of it. Problem solved thanks to the History Channel.
See, women are interested only in causing problems, not solving them. They do this to keep us men occupied while they play house and tea party and other such fantasy games of bullshit that involves spending your money on matching this to that and secretly fantasizing about the UPS delivery man. It’s the same all over the world.
To even a fully grown-up woman, this fantasy life of silliness and pretend is very much a reality. That’s why all women are not liars. Because they delude themselves into remembering the past as they wish and not as it actually happened.
Technically that’s not a lie.
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February 16th, 2007 at 9:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 1e9a4fd46c3a7
Really? Good for you. Want a cookie? Or how about a ‘I don’t fucking give a damn’?
February 16th, 2007 at 9:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 1639a16872831
i dont give a damn that you dont give a damn necro
February 16th, 2007 at 10:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 1e9a4fd46c3a7
Then why come to this site and tell us all these things? And its Necroswordsman bitch.
February 16th, 2007 at 10:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 1639a16872831
ok NECRO, ‘Bitch’, necro , frankly I just happened to come across this site after typing something of interest in the search engine. We were discussing this topic on Yahoo. And no I dont give a damn what you have to say because you just dont interest me. You havent said anything that would interest me and seem to be empty headed. Id rather talk to the other ones but now im leaving. Its been fun, bye
February 16th, 2007 at 10:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 1e9a4fd46c3a7
Not taking long enough to leave.
February 16th, 2007 at 10:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 1639a16872831
ok , maybe that was a little unfair, forget that comment, bye
February 16th, 2007 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
What an awful little cunt you transpire to be, kl. Quite befitting the subject matter of the site.
May 12th, 2007 at 9:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad3811f717dfe
I think women spend too much time trying to bend the world to the fantasy they believe it should be in the circus in their heads. Men accept the world for being brutal, cruel, unrelenting and immovable and we know there’s no better place to learn how shit really works in life than from the lessons of history. this way of thinking is sometimes called LOGIC. And women hate logic: it cant be bargained with, manipulated, tricked or bitched at to make it the way they want it - it just IS. And for some reason alot of women cant deal with that and thus just ignore it(logic that is).
May 13th, 2007 at 12:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 760a91233a652
Well said!
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
Ok…so far this site as been a big laugh. Whatever man wrote this is quite pompous and, might i add, an imbecile. The subject heading for this article was “I cannot tell a lie…because I’m a man”, yet throughout the entire piece all he did was talk about the history channel and say how females are not liers…deluded clowns perhaps, but nonetheless not liers. Sir Dick, men arent liers? You haven’t met my ex then. :)
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486
*liars
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
thank you for correcting me evileddy :D
Garth Brooks: She Had the Need to Feel the Thunder
September 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
You just don’t hide how desperate you are for it, do you?
Sickening.
- funky green dogs - fired up
September 23rd, 2007 at 1:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
desperate for what sonyad? If you mean attention and sex then you have again misjudged me. It’s saddening that you are so narrow-minded that you think if a woman talks to you or says anything to you she wants attention.
Now that is what is truly Sickening.
Ace of Base: Angel Eyes
October 25th, 2007 at 1:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
Most men have lied. This thread is just stupid, you have all lied at some point in your little meaningless little lives. You’re all contradicting yourselves.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Monkey see, monkey do, kristina?
- 07 Madan [Exotic Disco Mix]
November 7th, 2007 at 9:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: cb3932749af39
You know why George Washington ‘could not tell a lie,’ because he was holding the axe in his hand and probably eating cherries, it would have seemed stupid to say, ‘oh no, dad, the tree just happen to fall while I held this axe in my hand, and a little bird flew over here and just started dropping cherries in my mouth.’ Chump.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
*laughs* I love it when women use that whole, “Bye” thing.
Allow me to explain what kl meant when she said “bye”.
She wanted to have the last word, so she said “bye”, as if she was going to leave. But really, she had no intention of leaving. She had to wait around and see if anyone ELSE was going to try to have the last word. If they did, she’d instantly and magically come back, and add her two cents.
How do I know this? She had two posts in a row that ended with “bye”.
Women pull this shit all the time. They pretend to leave for two reasons. To try to get you to follow them, IE attention, or, to try to have the last word.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
For the record, that never actually happened. It’s a historical myth.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 7580f87dec6e7
I just want to point out that I absolutely adore the History Channel. Along with the Discovery Channel, Discovery Health, etc., etc. Documentaries are pretty much my favorite things ever invented.