It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s…Invisible to Women!
Men are better than women at looking up.
It’s true; and I don’t mean men are better than women at being optimistic or at setting pie in the sky goals for themselves. Everyone knows that already. If women were in charge of setting goals for themselves and humanity we’d all be sitting in trees flinging shit at each other.
Actually, it wouldn’t take much for today’s modern woman to resort to that. They already go to the bathroom in packs.
Women never look up. Whenever they walk under anything, they never tilt their heads and look up. Every single man in the world does.
A friend of mine I have been visiting for the last few days has an office with a balcony. Below this balcony is the main entrance to his building. You can stand on this balcony for hours at a time, drink a six-pack, and never ever see a woman look up. Men are exactly the opposite.
With this in mind, I find it even more absurd that women are allowed to drive. They don’t know anything the fuck that’s going on around them ever. How is that safe? People have children on the road. Do we blindfold children and kick them into traffic? No. It’s reckless. That whole rule about looking 12 seconds ahead or 12 minutes ahead while driving — whatever the fuck it is — men do it naturally. Women can’t even be trained to.
At first I thought it was something instinctual. You know, something from The Hunt. I’m sure all you men already know what I’m going to say. I thought it must be a part of our man-nature that is still an integral part of our daily lives. Women don’t look up. They also don’t look sideways or any which ways. And if they do, they certainly don’t see or remember any fucking thing. That’s a man’s business.
But then I thought, ‘when the fuck did humans ever hunt birds? There’s no meat on them.’ And, ‘were there giant pterodactyls zooming around and snatching primitive men off the Earth whilst they were out scrounging up their man meals? I doubt it.’ I checked some sources on this and found that no, there was not. So man-stinct is right out.
No, I’m afraid what we’re dealing with is plain old laziness. And also the Damsel in Distress syndrome. Women don’t like being resourceful or having resources. They prefer at all times to have anything and everything in the world done for them every step of the way. That’s why pimps are so successful. They don’t even cut a paycheck. It’s a woman’s dream job. Women don’t look up or sideways or any ways because it puts them at a disadvantage in life. If it was fashionable, they’d wear blindfolds.
Try it for yourself. Drive a woman somewhere she hasn’t been before; try a different supermarket. Pick one as close to your house as possible. It would be preferable to make only one turn to get there. When you’re done driving around the parking lot, have her drive home. I fucking promise she won’t be able to do it without getting a narration.
Don’t forget to buckle your safety belt as well. Women on the road are fucking retarded.
Related Articles:
August 16th, 2006 at 12:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
sony: “There are only three colours” — ha! Too right.
gwallan: yeah, you’d think she’d get it right after you’ve pointed it out to her in the past. Shortening is one thing — calling you GW for example — but misspelling quite another.
I still think what she said wasn’t quite right, but you weren’t offended, so none of my business. I broke both wrists protecting my head and face from being smashed in in a bad cycling accident, and for someone to make fun of that would be, in my view, dirty pool.
“Must admit that at the time I did feel a right heel.” Ha. OK, line of the week.
Melissa:
There are indeed positive sides to women. Read the archives a bit more and you might find some comments on that.
-wolfe
August 16th, 2006 at 2:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9c4ae12b2f5c7
Dick, if you like women so much, why do you put them down with things that aren’t true?
August 16th, 2006 at 2:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9c4ae12b2f5c7
There are positive and negative sides to men and women, and that makes men and women equal.
August 16th, 2006 at 2:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: c5ce7b5da8c0c
Your post makes so much sense, Rechzhan. By your ‘reasonong’ then it can be concluded that since there are positive and negative sides to AAA batteries and car batteries, and that makes them equal. A 7-Series BMW and a Ford Escort both have 4 wheels and an engine, and that makes them equal. East Timor and the United States are both countries, and that makes them equal.
Women have so much good to add to this site. No wonder they are not banned from it.
August 17th, 2006 at 10:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Everything I say is true. Find one thing that isn\’t. You can\’t.
-Dick
August 17th, 2006 at 11:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 0d17ac160ff85
This is absolutely true. The latest issue of the Economist has an article that overviews the debate on the differerences between men and women, and it was found, among other things, they lack spatial reasoning capabilities. For exmple, they cannot visualize and rotate a three dimensional object in their minds. Men can. This is also a reason why they arrange a map when reading it so that it conforms to the direction of the road they are on. (They look like retards doing this, incidentally).
And Larry Summers got his ass booted out of Harvard for simply asking the question why women were not represented more in math and science. Go figure.
I can also tell you about the time my GF took my brand new car (less than a 1,000 miles) to the store and came back on foot! Yep. She totalled it. Apparently, she was turning left in an intersection against the light, following some other brainless broad doing the same thing, and, no surprise, was hit by another clueless chick driving through the intersection that was clearly blocked by the other two idiots.
Wonders never fucking cease! Too bad it cost me 15K in repairs!
August 17th, 2006 at 11:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Three women have never attempted a left turn together without destroying a car.
-Dick
August 17th, 2006 at 1:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: a6505134eceed
lol
just lol
Major generalization here. How can she believe that all guys name Dick have a serious problem with the other gender? This same gal probably goes on and on about how we are Equal even though she admits we are so different. From what I gather, Dick has written a great deal about the differences in men and women and why. No need to ponder that anymore.
Yes women have a positive side, women can positively throw a stinking fit when the truth is placed before them. Women can positively
lie like a used car salesman all day long. Women positively change for the worse after eating a marriage cake. Women are positively childlike all their lives.
August 17th, 2006 at 1:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: a6505134eceed
BTW, I’m married and my wife has no problem admitting without coaching that “men are better than women” at everything other than giving birth.
To show the logic or lack of in women.
My wife has been in a reading mode lately.
She has read every night for a month. Normally I have to turn the TV off since she isn’t watchin it and she reads with it muted anyway.
A big storm came through the other night and knocked out our power for an hour and our cable was out for several hours.
First thought out of her head when the power came on was “honey run rent us a movie we since we don’t have cable.” Four weeks straight without TV was fine, But tonight is different we must rent a movie since the cable is out. I had to laugh at her insanity.
Women say the dumbest things.
August 17th, 2006 at 1:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5be6a3201772c
Translation: Your wife is better than you at avoiding having a stupid argument.
August 17th, 2006 at 1:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5be6a3201772c
You shouldn’t believe everything you read Chris, especially not a “science” article printed in a financial rag.
August 18th, 2006 at 8:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 0d17ac160ff85
You shouldn’t believe everything you read Chris, especially not a “science” article printed in a financial rag.
Yes, of course. And you are an authority.
Were you not the one you claimed to be educated at “Standford” in Russian “archeture.”?
August 18th, 2006 at 9:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
Bullshit, Fem.
It is an undisputed fact that women have lower spatial ability in both real and virtual environments.
Microsoft has already discovered that it takes a woman, on average 20% longer to visualise their position in a computer-generated world, than a man.
Of course, I knew this ever since I first saw a woman try to park a car.
August 18th, 2006 at 9:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
August 18th, 2006 at 9:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Brilliant example!
August 20th, 2006 at 8:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4944745ec8c61
Wrong Dick.
Three women have never attempted a left turn together without destroying three cars.
August 20th, 2006 at 8:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4944745ec8c61
And just for good measure I’ve quoted you three times. You see - repetition is proof.
August 20th, 2006 at 9:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2da9b7d34e824
I was wrong. As a man I can admit that.
-Dick
August 20th, 2006 at 11:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Not me, I think that was someone called Tweetie or maybe Pixie.
August 21st, 2006 at 9:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Female: The Economist is a good read. You’d learn a lot from it. It isn’t simply about the “dismal science”. If I were to recommend a single publication to someone who wanted to learn more about the world, that would probably be it. If you’re still studying/doing coursework, you can even get a (cheap) student rate. I wouldn’t dismiss it as a “financial rag”.
@gwallan: Ha! Good catch. Logically, Dick’s ok, albeit misleading, since the condition of destroying one car is included in the condition of destroying three cars. Still a nice spot.
-wolfe