Presto, Chango! Women Are Shitty Magicians
There has never been a good woman magician. Sure, women are important to magic, but that’s just like women are important to office work; they can wear short skirts.
Men are better than women at being showmen, but that doesn’t explain why there has never ever been a good woman magician. Surely Oprah could pop a trick or two out of her fat ass every once in a while. How about Ellen? Turning Anne Heche straight again was a pretty good trick wasn’t it? Or miracle.
Women make shitty magicians because they believe in magic. They believe in it with every ounce of black blood in their black hearts.
Take sending a quarter through a table, or turning a wallet inside-out or some shit; women believe that actually happened. They’re probably terrified by it too. I would be if I thought a guy in a bad suit and an even worse comb-over could force me to pick a 2 of spades twice in a row. Where does this power stop?
Luckily, I’m a man and I don’t buy bullshit on any level. That’s women’s problem. They buy bullshit like no one’s making any more of it. ‘I love you,’ means it no matter what, and turning an orange into some guy’s retirement watch that was just broken in a velour bag just a few minutes ago is some kind of fucking biblical miracle.
No, it’s bullshit.
Men are the purveyors of bullshit. We always will be because we’re not consumers of it, it’s that fucking simple. We purvey bullshit like magic and storytelling and telling little kids they’re doing a good job when any idiot can see they’re not, but we don’t buy it. We don’t walk around with our fairy tale diaries in hand, looking to add another fuck-up into the annals.
That’s why men are better than women at everything, including being magicians. Because women are so stocked up on crap, they’re chocking on it.
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you sir, are right! women have a fantasy that whatever they think is correct! fanciful bullshit flight of fancy. get your head out of your asses, you dumb bitches and realise that men rule, dumbassed women drool.
Presto. Good album ^_~
Smells better than the website and attention whoring we’re suddenly seeing.
Deathslayer
mmm… the sweet smell of redundancy…
mmm…the sweet smell of cunt!
”Women make shitty magicians”- wow, must have took a lot of brain power to come up with this article
Fucking signed.
Have you seen lesbians making out? Girls have no fucking idea whatsoever how to kiss and fuck! What, you softly, awkwardly kiss her? I would fucking love lesbian porno if I could find a girl who actually knows how to take charge, grab those titties, push her tits against the girl, grind her crotch against the bitch, grab her hair. No, we get some bullshit about how a girly-girl found someone who ‘cares for her’ and the chick sits on her lap and awkwardly eats her face.
Fucking despicable. Girly-girls are so fucking awkward, it makes me want to put a drill bit to my head.
So much fucking talkie-talkie. Hell, bitches can’t fucking shut their lips! SHUT THE FUCK UP, girly-girl! You aren’t going to get arrested for taking charge, ravage the fucking bitch.
I can’t find anything where these wannabee men actually act like the men they wish they were! Lesbian sex is fucking lame.
ATTN: Girly-girls, you can be weak and effeminate, but whatever you do, don’t be this fucking whore:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=lp8qU6KyeBw
This is why we hate you, girlies. This is why we hate you so fucking much.
Beyond ‘tits and ass’ a woman is of no entertainment value whatsoever.
So is that why we need two standards for men and girls on military, police, college applications, sports teams, and any other conceivable profession?
You stupid whore, that is what we want – everyone to be judged on the same standard. That does not mean you get any privileges whatsoever. If a guy does something that is demeaning and requires no effort, he is looked down upon. The same goes for you, whore, no matter how you think you should be treated.
As for the violence thing, let’s assume you did punch me in my face. What would happen if I did what you would do if I did the same to you and had you arrested for assault? We are equal, after all, and deserve to be treated as equals.
You guys are so fucking retarded.I’m a girl and I think we are pretty equal.We are both people we are both grouped as homosapanies.So what the fuck are you talking about with men magaicas?What the fuck is wrong with you people?You make me want to punch you all in your fat fucked up faces!
Learn how to spell bitch.
homosapanies
Oh man I lold.
lol, Women do believe in magic. If you are smart, dont put your soul or wallet on the line to help them maintain this illusion! My ex wife and i used- USED to have a gambling problem. Godamn indian casinos anyway. I took me YEARS to convince her that every and all slot machines are, very obviously, fixed in favor of the house. I.e. you may win $500 spining the wheels on this shit but it is going to cost you at least $5000 to get there. So there we sat, me being a woosie and not forcing her to stop pulling the damn handle. And her believing in magic and miracles. Such as that the people running the casino, and fixing the slot machines (and make no mistake, the godamn slot machines ARE fixed, always will be forevermore, and you’d be a complete and utter fool to believe otherwise for one second) were interested in anything other than taking every cent we would give them. After years of this and winding up thousands in debt she finally became a believer. I saw it happen before my eyes. After watching the stupid wheels on the slot slut spin around for the 5 millionth godamn time, and not even dime out come out of this piece of shit, she had a catharsis. It was extroardinary so i will describe it. It’s exactly like watching an animal video, where a bear is being chased by tracking dogs and gets cornered. The bear lunges at the dogs to kill them but they are too fast, too many, and too ornery and the bear suddenly realizes, for the very first time in its life, that its ass is well and truly kicked and nothing it can think or do will change it in the least! The bear plops down its ass, puts its head down and looks very defeated. And waits for the man-hunter to pump it full of lead and kill its last illusion for good. This same exact thing happened to my lovely ex when she finally realized that indian casinos were nothing morethan the Red Man’s Revenge. And after that, we drove away from Big Chief Rolling Dice and the stupid casino, and $20,000 later, it is not even a conversation point between us. Yes, women want to believe in miracles, magic, and illusion. Point being, if you are smart you can maybe manipulate a woman’s gullibility and deep-held beliefs in Santa Claus, the easter bunny and michael jackson’s innocence, and wangle them into bed for a time or two. But dont let their silly, stupid and irrational belief in “magic” ever get between you, your soul or your wallet!!!!
I don’t know, Chris. Saying women are magicians because of the things they can remove, disappear or destroy is a little like saying hurricanes are magicians.
Few have accused women of being subtle in their swathes of destruction. Effect though, you’re certainly right there.
-wolfe
I don’t know about all women, but certainly most (ex)wives are magicians.
They can revert a life’s savings to a sum of zero in the blink of an eye.
They can transform a credit card balance from zero to maxed out in the same span of time.
They can perceive with uncanny extra-sensory perception personal slights and rejoinders that are unseen by people of normal senses.
They can turn the rule of justice into the rule of law, and make the two extraordinarily exclusive from each other.
They can make a man’s children disappear forever.
What they lack in showmanship, they more than make up for in subtlety and effect.
sadly this post had little logic and science in it except maybe hatred to women. While you are free to do so, it would be nice if you pulled out studies like in the brains dept or about the sizes bit.
But thinkin about it i really aint seen many women magicians!
peace
G