Why Do Women Make Shitty Musicians?
This question was sent to me by a reader and I appreciate it:
“Dick, why do women make such shitty musicians?”
I happen to disagree with the question. See, unlike women, men can disagree with things like questions and eye-rolls, even though they’re not technically statements to be disagreed with. It’s because questions and fucking eye-rolls and other bullshits are just like saying the same thing that is being implied. It’s the same.
Women always fuck that up. They think keeping their mouths shut gives them carte blanche to behave however fucking terribly they want.
Women don’t make shitty musicians. That’s like saying McDonald’s makes shitty Italian food. McDonald’s doesn’t even make pizza, what the fuck are you talking about?
Exactly.
Think of the greatest composers in history. That’s easy. You’ve got your Mozart and your Beethoven and your Mothersbaugh, but what about the not-so-greats? You could probably do some digging on the internet and if you were a woman you could convince a man to do some digging on the internet and then talk about the results like you fucking knew all of them already because as a woman you pull that manner of shit all the time. What you’d find in the annals of music is a sausage party so jam packed with men it belongs about a block from the airport.
Women are a fucking travesty to music. Music and women are natural enemies just like women and beer. Women fucking hate people having a good time and they’re outrageous control freaks. That’s also why women hate sex. They’re too busy orgasming to control it like men do, so it makes them bitter and full of spite. That’s also why they hate music. They consider it a form of rape. Ear rape.
Music isn’t like other professions either where a woman will occasionally slip through the cracks and actually be worth a fuck. That’s where I swoop in and charitably dole out a MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month Award, while simultaneously man-ignoring all of said woman’s other fuck-ups. ‘Man-ignoring’ is when you behave as if you don’t know something, but you still keep it in your mind to act upon later and don’t throw your life off a fucking cliff like a lemming. Women only have one setting on their ignore switch. It’s either Behave Sensibly For a Few Days or Fucking Invent History as You Go! Fuck it!
Also, women practice too goddamn much to be any good at music. Practice is a silly and womanly thing. It’s just prancing around the sidelines while the real job gets done on the field — the field of music.
Here’s a good question: if women are men are equal, which they’re fucking not, but every fuckwit, idiot women on the planet wants to force feed it to young men halfway between breast and bottle; then why hasn’t there been a female Mozart? Why hasn’t some little girl hopped off her daddy’s lap and started jamming?
It’s because women completely suck at music. I’m sure science will prove exactly why someday — just like it proven women can’t read maps worth a fuck. Until then logic and man reason leads the way:
How many woman Mozarts have there been? None. Fuck you. Women suck at music.
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This then leads to the musical question; why do all freaking women really believe they sing well? Not some women; ALL freaking women actually believe they are gifted musically, academically, physically, and sexually. Wrong. Self esteem is one thing, living on fantasy island without leaving your couch while chomping cheetos an entirely different matter.
Oh? Sarah Brightman, Inva,Tarja etc etc.
Male Singers are an abomination to the world and they need to all die and go to hell. The world would be a better place with only Women.
Proven Fact.
The only proven fact is your view of the world is warped; female centered psychosis is not an admirable character trait. Listing two exceptions does not disprove a theory. Show us scientific fact, not your opinionated fact. Dick is right, women need to learn when to leave and when to shut up. The time has passed.
The world would be a better place with only women is a fact eh?
Nice argument style. Claim an outrageous ‘fact’ then offer no proof whatsoever. What studies confirm this? Try and provide a link or reference to an objective study (not conducted by someone with a feminist agenda) on this ‘fact’.
Karen is clinically insane.
Proven Fact.
you are the most ignorant fucking retard ive ever read of in my life u fucking fag. why don’t you get off your 10×10 ass, wipe the cheese doodle crumbs off your boobs (which im sure are bigger than most womens’ anyway) and go get LAID.. fyi: you put the 2″ thing that you haven’t seen in years into that sideways smile between her legs. it’s called sex you fucking moron.
Women do all things to get attention – that’s why their singing is
worthless.
rofl no
Right ON man!!
Women make shitty music because all they do is for attention and that’s not how the music is being created.
So fucking true. There were girls in my music class, and they were trained properly, but they couldn’t compose or create shit. They’d just garner attention from guys by playing the same shit everyone has played 1000 times before.
All the people in my Further Maths class are guys. There was a girl, but she dropped it.
Apparently people who have talent for creating music are also creative in love making.
Exactly, whomyn have no singular thinking, that’s why they haven’t created anything of value, just copy men, and they suck at that to.
- menarebetterthanwhomyn.
Well that’s obvious.For making music
A) You need the technics.and the fucking 10+ years to have ability somewhat play on it without fucking it up(here i mean all music, that played on instruments)(Vanessa May – douche bag)
B) You need to Make that music.This meant rationally build from scales,harmonics.This is second fail.
C) Talent.Someone can name talented woman?( i mean talented in someone other, than ability to service three cocks simultaneously, singing, dancing).Wait a sec i think i knew one…Her name was…uhmm…ehmm…hee…Third fail.
Face it.They are good for baking, cleaning house, making laundry…Not that men are worse in that, on the contrary, they don’t just give a fuck that even this job will be fucked up.
dick masterson sings with his penis. he also signs with his penis. eats with his penis and uses it as a form of transport.
dick masterson signs out of his penis.
you completely lost your piont mid way through this and dick what the fuck do you have that rises yourself up above female musicians, what the fuck have you created that is better then janis joplin or that girl from the latin guitar duo, have you heard her man she is fucking amazing much better then her brother who plays with her. Oh yes that right you have a penis, well fucking done so does half the population and Im pretty sure the person who wrote achey brakey heart was a guy
YOU completely lost your “piont” when you decided to post here. By the way, congrats on being so specific: “that girl from the latin guitar duo” wow, I definitely know what you’re talking about. Oh and Janis Joplin was the best you could come up with for female artists? Wow.
No one sided arguing here then.
Ever heard of Natasha Beddingfield? All she does is write shit songs about writing shit songs.
The point is there are men who write bad songs and women who write bad songs.
Then there are men who write satirical websites and women who write knee jerk reaction comments because they can’t get past their feelings to notice that perhaps they shouldn’t be taking it so seriously.
You say we all live with our mothers (I know I don’t) presumably to imply we have no life while you cry into your chardonnay about the fact that no man would touch you (even with Musollini’s dick) pausing every now and again to make insulting assumtions. Oh look I can do it too.
There are no women classical composers because they weren’t allowed to do it, or weren’t taken seriously. But I do agree with you, if not quite so angrily :). Any band with a female leader fuly sucks dick, and the guys in the background behind her all look like a bunch of po’ faced gimps :D
Don’t be so ridiculous John, music has always been an art women have been encouraged to take up, well at least those with time and money. There have been many women composers throughout history but never a ‘great’ one, perhaps musical composition is a skill more suited to a male brain.
You know Mozart’s sister was a much more skilled instrumentalist than he was?
Also the best conductor I’ve ever played with was a woman.
I’m a man by the way.
And this website is disturbing.
Women are, at best, performing monkeys. They cannot create.
^^^Yes. And Mozart could have got instrumentalists far better than his sister, to play his compositions.
Disturbing???
Noone ever heard of Mozart’s sister.
Because Mozart was BETTER than his sister.
Mozart was even BETTER than Salieri.
There’s nothing “disturbing” about someone being BETTER than another person for any reason. As long as it is perfectly proven, valid and TRUE.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
This is a common myth.. there is no evidence to show she was any better. I bet some feminist cunt made this up. You’re not a man, you’re a female with a Y chromosome.
you what women suck at more than being musicians? being fucking comedians… name one funny woman.. oh you can’t think of one? that’s cause there are none. just like pizza at mcdonald’s.. although there briefly was pizza at mcdonald’s in the mid-90’s and it was terrible.
I once watched a woman comedian on Comedy Central Presents. The only thing worse than her jokes was the fact that she laughed at all of them louder than the audience did. I sat transfixed, cringing the entire time.
There are one or two exceptions but generally stand up ‘comediennes’ are painful to watch. Look at the vast majority of male comidians and females.
Most male comics have a wide variety of material, talking about politics, domestic life, religion, alcohol and far too many other subjects to mention.
Most women comics talk about sex, their vaginas and little else. Seriously. have a look.
They’re trying so hard to shock and look ‘different’ that they all end up looking the same.
I don’t want to disagree, but Michiru Yamane is fucking awesome and Hildegard von Bingen was alright (medieval music just kind of sucks). Also, all the great composers (and players) practiced their asses off.
Its funny, even my wife agrees with this. She hates women singers. Most of them are whiny and annoying. That is what is killing country music right now. Feminist propaganda is in every song from Underwood to Swift to even the castrated male singers like Urban (Stupid Boy). They sensationalize the fact that Underwood sold 4 million albums when it is miniscule compared to Garth. He pre-sold 4 million albums of “Ropin the Wind”, but that fact is never mentioned. She headlines at casinos while G-Man can sell out Croke Park’s 45,000 seat stadium three days in a row. Women entertainers just dont get people pumped up. Could you imagine someone like Madonna trying to pull off “Down with The Sickness”?
Angela Gossow from Arch Enemy. I think she might have slipped through the cracks.
Men might make up the majority of bands, and instruments, but I personally prefer woman singers. The only ones I can think of off the top of my head is Fleetwood Mac, Paramore, Silversun Pickups, Joan Jett, Ladytron, Sonic Youth, Nightwish, Utada Hikaru, whoever sings in the song Moonlight Shadow, and Tina Turner did one song in the movie Tommy which was absolutely excellent. If I think of any more i’ll list them.
Oh yeah, Heart, Cascada, Freezepop, and DJ Sammy. Fuckkkk I can’t think of anymore I particularily like. There aren’t a whole lot. But there should be. Maybe women should start singing instead of whoring in order to make money.
I can destroy ALL of those with one word Uhh.
QUEEN.
Queen was gay. Gays are effeminate. Byah!
No. SOME gay men are effeminate. Many are not. So much so that you’d often not know they were gay. Even the effeminate ones typically have dicks. Those rare ones that do not, DID have them. Which is more than any woman can say.
Queen’s music remains unmatched. Certainly, the best female vocalists and bands cannot reach the quality that Queen put out. Few male bands can, but any that could, would of course, be men.
Except that’s opinion. I personally like female singers more. Many people do not. Doesn’t make any of us wrong. I like Queen’s music, but I wouldn’t calll them my favorite band ever.
No it is not opinion. Some things about music are objective. Objectively the sound of my shit hitting the toilet is not music.
Objectively you’re a dumbass for liking any band more than Queen.
Objectively the best quality of music ever made wasn’t made my a gay man in the seventy’s named Freddie Mercury.
And objectively, saying anyone who doesn’t agree with your musical tastes is a dumbass, makes you a douchebag.
Objectively me being right about music makes me a genius. But objectively your response was fucking great and funny.
Still, I’m right, you’re wrong. Bastardo!
*arms and legs cut off, looking around*
All right, we’ll call it a draw.
Manmusing!
On a semi-related note, why do Men go to gigs and concerts? So they can hang out with their buddies, drink beer, have a great fuckin’ time and rock out to the music they love (which, more often than not, was created in the first place because a MAN got inspired).
Why do Women go to gigs and concerts? To cock-tease gullible Men into giving up free drinks and shared tokes and of course, to fuck the guys in the band so they can feel like they’re special because they’re a star-fucker.
Amen, brother.
There are a lots of great woman musicians out there. No great woman rappers though, but obviosly that’s because woman rappers would be wierd.
Women rappers fucking suck!!
That just goes to show that women shouldn’t try to do what’s obviously meant for men!!
Am I wrong? I think not.
Michelle
We have them women rappers all here on this site, except they alway rap about the same crap.
Haha well yeah…
But you know what I mean.
:)
I mean all of the original rappers – all of them. lol.
lol Okay