Let’s Call a Spade a Spatula. Just to be Silly.

I awoke this morning with a powerful thirst to wrap my large, male brain-muscles around a myth that needs busting. So here it is: women hate nice guys.

Women hate nice guys?

That’s stupider than the Vagina Monologues.

Saying that women hate nice guys is like saying that it’s okay to drink in the workplace on days that end in “-day”. It’s annoying and redundant and stupid because all days end in “-day” just like all men are nice.

Bullshit, you say? How about no shit at all!

Think back on your own. When your car was stalled in the middle of a busy intersection, who helped you push it across? That’s right, a man. When you had something heavy that needed dumping behind a 7-11 — like a couch or a woman who passed out drunk in your backseat because she was trying way too hard to impress all of her whore friends; who helped you chuck it?

Kachuck — a man.

Has a man ever eaten half of your pizza and then made you play ten minutes of “I’m too stupid to do math because Cosmo said that was sexy” before chipping in? Fuck no, because that’s one of the most irritating games in the world and men don’t propagate that manner of horseshit. If he did though, it was probably extremely funny — something that women are also not and will never be.

In the practice of life, there is no struggle where a man won’t lend a man hand. Men will even help women, which is the biggest testament of all to our undeniable niceness. A woman, you see, will never ever offer any kind of ‘thank you’, so we’re pretty much doing it for nothing. She will just stand their clumsily with her uncharged cell phone and explain ad naseum how life did not prepare her in the least for whatever it was that needed doing. Wow, could you tell me something more obvious? Or should I say ovarious?

Speaking of that, if you had a Pog for every time that a man paid for a woman’s abortion (pretty nice considering it’s 100% her fault), you’d have a shitload of Pogs. It’s called responsibility ladies — who are absolutely forbidden from reading this. If you don’t want the cat in the cookie jar, close the fucking lid. Jesus.

By the way, if any of you men can think of something more helpful and nice than a man, please let me know. Purely for curiosity’s sake, the point has already been proven.

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77 Comments in 70 threads.»

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Comment by Haha89
2009-10-01 14:23:29 - IP Man-Hash: b2a3745f0d705

Chris=Mr. Empty-pants

 
Comment by hillary
2009-04-07 10:06:48 - IP Man-Hash: 94417501f7710

Why is it that girls are “absolutely forbidden from reading this?” I think all females should hear the wisdom of Dick Masterson, especially young girls. There is nothing anyone can do to save the fat, Opra loving cow women, but if young girls grow up reading this then they will grow up knowing there place.

Comment by And the cheese stands alone
2009-04-08 12:09:19 - IP Man-Hash: cd2683fee676e

Hillary=man

Comment by Abigail
2009-04-08 12:49:53 - IP Man-Hash: b47ea8e1fee34

I see. Anyone who disagrees with you is a man.

 
 
Comment by Harry
2009-09-29 11:32:29 - IP Man-Hash: 3d8f0a9a7e742

hillary: I’d almost agree ith you if you could keep a female below the age of 30, if not 30 definately 40 and stopped them producing children, because that’s hen the real trouble starts. Many words could be used to describe this condition. I like the word hag. This isn’t a physical description either, it’s a personality trait magnified by feminism to intolerable proportions.

 
 
Comment by lauren
2008-07-22 14:43:00 - IP Man-Hash: 0fff566421c06

At least it seems like that crazy woman heather is gone. She was a nut case.

Comment by Chris
2008-07-22 15:00:07 - IP Man-Hash: 8fdae3316d084

You don’t ever have to put the words “CRAZY” + “WOMAN” together in a sentence. You’re only saying the same thing TWICE.

You can just say “woman”, and everyone will already know she’s crazy. Count on it.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

 
Comment by Chris
2008-07-22 15:00:08 - IP Man-Hash: 8fdae3316d084

You don’t ever have to put the words “CRAZY” + “WOMAN” together in a sentence. You’re only saying the same thing TWICE.

You can just say “woman”, and everyone will already know she’s crazy. Count on it.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

 
 
Comment by Jade
2008-07-22 14:39:13 - IP Man-Hash: 94ad64c06ed27

I do not like asking people to help me because I feel bad about wasting their time. I will usually only ask for help if I really need it. I will then say thank-you because that is the nice thing to do. Not all women are the same.

Comment by KUNT
2008-09-20 20:20:53 - IP Man-Hash: 5fb41dc949d70

WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE HOLY GOD DAMN WOMEN ARE STUPID.

Seriously, though; stop taking everything so seriously with your linear, one-track, hyperliteral female mind.

 
 
Comment by bola
2008-07-03 10:08:43 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

Trolls are everywhere. said:

KristinM said:

I dunno know about but I like everyday to be good. Who says we beg for equality or beg to be above men? Sorry that you like women like that. Men that have woman problems, usually have a good reason since an early age.

They choose women that generally are at their level.

What does this even mean? You’re a stupid girl who can’t even form a logical sentence.

Beats me, I read it three times. Maybe it’s an Alanis Morissette song lyric.

 
Comment by bola
2008-07-03 10:00:54 - IP Man-Hash: a28a8fa6fa63a

Eric Rahn said:

david mooney said:

Also,many UN-NICE men start wars.They did all throughout history. Im a man.We’re assholes.Deal with it.Woman are great.

Learn your history, dumbshit. Some world leaders have been women and almost all of them started a war of some kind (or at least kept it going). As far as assholes go, women are just as capable of such behavior and often prove it. Furthermore, every woman’s favorite type of man IS an asshole. So who does that make the real assholes? If you hate your cock so much, then remove it. You don’t deserve it.

Hehehe, that’s right. Mr. Mooney’s license to call himself a man is hereby revoked.

 
Comment by Trolls are everywhere.
2008-07-03 09:41:57 - IP Man-Hash: 5eecaa282922a

KristinM said:

I dunno know about but I like everyday to be good. Who says we beg for equality or beg to be above men? Sorry that you like women like that. Men that have woman problems, usually have a good reason since an early age.

They choose women that generally are at their level.

What does this even mean? You’re a stupid girl who can’t even form a logical sentence.

 
Comment by Trolls are everywhere.
2008-07-03 09:40:54 - IP Man-Hash: 5eecaa282922a

If you honestly think that women are in any way superior to men, then you need to get smart, quick. You’re obviously brainwashed into that deluded notion by feminist propaganda or women around you who want to feel like they’re segregated against and secretly superior when they really just can’t function on their own in society.

Here’s a good scenario – Populate any given island with all women and tell me how they function (reproductive needs ignored for this control group) without male influence. Keep in mind they have nothing but the island’s options and resources. What would most women do in this situation, rather than think level-headed and rationally? That’s right. Panic.

Now I’m not going to say women are less human than men, but women are clearly less intelligent and less purposeful in every way than men. Societal constraints and status quo have added to this, but clearly they are less capable of doing physical work, and less intelligent in the fact that they hold the delusion that they are equally able. Feminism, on the other hand, or the ‘belief that women are equal to men’ only enforces the idiocy that they are superior, not just equal. Don’t even bring up how men cause all the wars in the world, because wars are caused by desire for power or control, and women have more of that then most men. They always want to make decisions but likewise hold no responsibility for these decisions. Take the double standard of abortions in mind – Men get none of the choice on keeping the baby, but they have to pay if they don’t keep it, and if they do keep it, men are obligated to pay money to raise a child they did not want and openly spoke out against.

In short, women are always going to be less than men. Prove me wrong.

 
Comment by KristinM
2008-06-16 15:29:21 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

I dunno know about but I like everyday to be good. Who says we beg for equality or beg to be above men? Sorry that you like women like that. Men that have woman problems, usually have a good reason since an early age.

They choose women that generally are at their level.

 
Comment by Dustin
2008-06-13 16:48:06 - IP Man-Hash: 43fafadb17f45

Kyle said:

Haha, your an IDIOT. Are you so ugly that every women has rejected you and you’ve grown up thinking that women are evil?
Dude. guys are dicks, deal with it. your a huge one. deal with it.
You also contradict yourself by saying WOMEN are all whores and go and get sex whenever they want.
And then saying that Women HATE sex.
Your immature kiddo.
Fuck you.
My girlfriend is AMAZING.
GET LAID.

Gosh, can’t spell, can’t punctuate… The proof is in the puddin’. If you’re not a woman, you’re a man who’s chosen to be just as useless.

Go fuck yourself, and by yourself, I mean your girlfriend.

 
Comment by Dustin
2008-06-13 16:46:08 - IP Man-Hash: 43fafadb17f45

“By the way, if any of you men can think of something more helpful and nice than a man, please let me know.”

Just to add more evidence to the mountain of truth; nope. Can’t think of anything.

 
Comment by Kyle
2008-06-09 09:08:52 - IP Man-Hash: a43d5ab708c75

Haha, your an IDIOT. Are you so ugly that every women has rejected you and you’ve grown up thinking that women are evil?
Dude. guys are dicks, deal with it. your a huge one. deal with it.
You also contradict yourself by saying WOMEN are all whores and go and get sex whenever they want.
And then saying that Women HATE sex.
Your immature kiddo.
Fuck you.
My girlfriend is AMAZING.
GET LAID.

Comment by KUNT
2008-09-20 20:22:04 - IP Man-Hash: 5fb41dc949d70

‘Your immature kiddo. Fuck you.’
I don’t even know where to begin with that.

 
 
Comment by Sway
2008-04-19 20:37:21 - IP Man-Hash: 90850f55d960b

son of the suns said:

I’m not fucking you.

my heart is broken

Cheers!
-man-space invader-

 
Comment by son of the suns
2008-04-19 20:33:56 - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4

I’m not fucking you.

 
Comment by Sway
2008-04-19 20:18:52 - IP Man-Hash: 90850f55d960b

son of the suns said:

Sway said:

Ok, I used to say that we women hate nice guys, but I see your point. We love nice guys, we just don’t want to fuck nice guys.

Cheers!
the man-space invader-

Put a gun in your mouth.

Three Days Grace – Wake Up

Can i borrow yours, since I don’t have one?

Cheers!
-man-space invader-

 
Comment by son of the suns
2008-04-19 19:18:26 - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4

Sway said:

Ok, I used to say that we women hate nice guys, but I see your point. We love nice guys, we just don’t want to fuck nice guys.

Cheers!
the man-space invader-

Put a gun in your mouth.

Three Days Grace – Wake Up

 
Comment by Sway
2008-04-19 18:31:08 - IP Man-Hash: 90850f55d960b

Ok, I used to say that we women hate nice guys, but I see your point. We love nice guys, we just don’t want to fuck nice guys.

Cheers!
the man-space invader-

 
Comment by Eric Rahn
2008-04-16 22:46:00 - IP Man-Hash: 336ece7b5d8b6

david mooney said:

Also,many UN-NICE men start wars.They did all throughout history. Im a man.We’re assholes.Deal with it.Woman are great.

Learn your history, dumbshit. Some world leaders have been women and almost all of them started a war of some kind (or at least kept it going). As far as assholes go, women are just as capable of such behavior and often prove it. Furthermore, every woman’s favorite type of man IS an asshole. So who does that make the real assholes? If you hate your cock so much, then remove it. You don’t deserve it.

 
Comment by Lynn
2008-04-05 11:24:09 - IP Man-Hash: 666508dec08b7

Anon said:

Men a proper judges of character. Before two men become best friends, an incredibly complex and intricate bond is formed. They learn about each other in such depth, that when they finally do become best friends, nothing could EVER destroy that friendship.

….unless the best friend was an asshole and he had to punch his lights out…..

 
Comment by psychedeliccowboy
2008-04-05 10:53:08 - IP Man-Hash: 1ace054919063

I’m too stupid to do math…because Cosmo said that was sexy.

 

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