You’re a Peein’
I was at the doctor’s office a few days ago getting my hand X-rayed after punching this fuck-head in the throat during the Super Bowl, and I learned an interesting statistic.
88% of women wash their hands after using the restroom.
66% of men do the same.
Urine is sterile, fellows and gentleman. You’re washing your hands too goddamn much.
Urine is as sterile as washing your hands after going to the bathroom is womanly.
Here’s another interesting statistic that I didn’t see broadcast on the 8 hour loop of CNN Health starring Dr. Sanjay Gupta and some woman with an amazing rack. By the way, to the producers of The New American Gladiators, when it comes to women hosting your shows, always pick rack over experience. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel by giving it a boxing title no one gives a fuck about.
0% of my dick is dirty.
When I go to the bathroom, I touch my pants — no need to wash anything after doing that — then I touch The Penis briefly. At no point in this pants/penis campaign is there anything gross or dirty being touched that would necessitate a hand washing. If anything, my penis is the cleanest part of my person. I might not have washed the jeans I’m wearing today, but I damn sure washed The Penis. It’s clean enough to eat off of.
That’s why men wash our hands after using the bathroom at a rate of 66% versus the womanly 88%. We’re not filthy.
Going to the bathroom for men doesn’t require maintenance on par with laying bricks. For those of you who haven’t laid a lot of brick in your life — literally, not metaphorically — doing so requires a lot of wiping and tidying of seams. When this is done with bricks it’s very manly, but when it’s done with a vagina not only is it womanly, it’s disgusting.
12% of women are fucking disgusting.
Washing your hands after going to the bathroom is like birth control. All women need to be doing it and men shouldn’t give a fuck about it. It’s not our vagina that’s the problem.
Metaphorically “laying brick” means to take a shit in multiple friend’s bathrooms in the same day. It is a truly repugnant practical joke that will gain you many Man Points.
If you’re French going into the bathroom, and you’re Spanish coming out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
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I am shutting this site down.
It’s probably okay to not wash your hands in your home providing your bathroom is clean.. but what about in public? Think about all the stuff you touch when you go to the toilet.. door knobs, doors, benches, etc. Sure you and your dick may be clean, but what about everyone else who has touched those surfaces before you? I think you’re pretty stupid for not realising this.
urine is sterile until it hits oxgen dumb ass
Are you into golden showers or something?
urine is sterile until it hits oxgen dumb ass
What if you do #2?
only if you wipe with the wrong hand.
The reason you should wash your hands in the bathroom no matter what you did in there is that so few other people wash their hands after defecation. Also, regular hand washing is useful in preventing sickness, and should be done any time before you are going to touch your face, eat, or anything that might pass germs from your hand to your system.
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Wow, that’s an amazing excuse to be totally DISGUSTING!!!! Holy shit -_-
I wanna show you something,
Well, I for one do not wash after a piss, because I don’t even need to. If I wanted to, I could go without having to physically touch myself at all. Just walk up, unzip, and let flow, not spilling a drop. totally mastery. Ever seen a woman piss. It’s a fucking mess.
hahaha yes! i like that. good one chris.
I never wash my hands after i piss, even if im going to eat immediately after
Here is another definition of “laying brick”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=laying+brick
Proper Washing Of The Hands! Because if anyone knows about it, it’s someone who bleeds 2 to 5 days a month…oh wait..
A-FUCKING-MEN.
We wash our hands after shaking hands with your fat, filthy cow hoof.
Add two more stupid cunts to this infinitely long list…
I call BS.
Hey Billy, why dont you take your own dick and stick it in your own mouth. Careful of that herpes you caught last night, you wouldnt wanna get that on your lip.
Do wash your hands after wiping your ass?
Hey Dick,
Jump off that bridge over there.
Well buddy, why dont you take your clean penis and throw it on the grill. Kabob that bitch up and feed a starving family of homos.