Science Says…

It’s no surprise to men that science has a lot to say about men being better than women.

News Flash! Men Have Testicles!

Posted in Science Says... on December 6th, 2006

Men and women are equal? Yea right. Where the fuck did that even start? Probably at the end of an ice cream and Chardonnay binge where the rest of women and their mythical, ego-building bullshit starts. You can have all the Tiki Taki Bed Bath & Beyond shit in the world, it doesn’t mean you don’t still need a man like your empty life fucking depends on it.

Men and women are perfectly equal except for these things men have that make them jump out of bed at the crack of morning and ask who or what is going to get his or its ass kicked today no matter what happened the day before.

Those things are called testicles. Man testicles. Men and women are not equal. Men are better than women. [Read more]

Why Women Hate Sex: Part 3

Posted in Science Says... on November 22nd, 2006

Here’s some science for your man ass.

It’s certainly not for your man penis because this science says women hate sex.

It turns out they’re allergic to it. Bullshit. [Read more]

Women Think Evolution And Eugenics Are the Same

Posted in Science Says... on July 5th, 2006

Have you ever heard of a thing called evolution?

Of course you have. You’re a man and all men have heard of pretty much everything having to do with science; just ask your nearest man.

“Have you heard of such and such that has to do with science?”

“Yes. I’m pretty sure I have. Why don’t you tell me a little more about it.”

Mantastic. [Read more]

Women Are All White Power

Posted in Science Says... on June 16th, 2006

Writing scientifically why men are better than women are always my favorite articles. In science, there’s no room for emotion. That’s not why women are lousy at science though. Women are shit at science because they have the attention spans and brains of little girls.

When did the myth even start that women act like they do (like bitches) because they’re “more emotional” than men? Does it not take emotion to die for your country and for freedom?

Well I think it fucking does. It takes a hell of a lot more emotion than what it takes to act like a cunt because someone forgot to pick up jam at the store. [Read more]

Female Mosquitoes and Female Women are the Same

Posted in Science Says... on June 2nd, 2006

Did you know only female mosquitoes suck your blood? That’s right. Mansquitoes don’t do shit but relax at home I guess — whatever a mosquito would do if it wasn’t being an asshole.

One, two, three and that’s it. With that last item I now have three reasons why women are the same as mosquitoes. That means I can write about it.

Women and mosquitoes both:
1. Suck your blood.
2. Hate “bananas”.
3. Never stop buzzing in your fucking ears. [Read more]

Women are the Spleen of Civilization

Posted in Science Says... on May 17th, 2006

Here’s an interesting scientific thought experiment for you.

Everyone knows that women belong at home and not in the workplace. Just like everyone knows that men are responsible for being the providers in the family unit. That’s why lesbianism doesn’t work and doesn’t exist. It’s like having a car with no steering wheel and a 2 hp engine.

That’s called bumper cars. They sound fun, but really they’re just a waste of your fucking time. [Read more]

Manstory 101

Posted in Science Says... on April 10th, 2006

Manstory — a lot like history except consisting only of the parts that matter — can be a funny thing. But it can also be a learning thing.

For example, did you know the pubs of Britain close so early because of World War II? It’s true. Pubs and bars were ruled to close at 11 o’clock so munitions workers would be up bright and early for work the next morning. It’s bullshit, but now we know the problem. Now we can work our mighty man muscles together toward a solution.

By the way, here’s the solution:

There is no more fucking World War II.

Problem solved. What’s the next one?

How about that Manstory also unravels the age old mystery of why women can’t shut the fuck up for five fucking seconds. [Read more]

Women Feel Sorry For Rapists

Posted in Science Says... on March 24th, 2006

Women involved in any level of government other than putting the spun gold that comes out of men’s mouths onto paper or making the fucking coffee is a blueprint to disaster. Not a disaster like being two hours late to a party because you took the wrong freeway and then hit a watermelon truck because your wife can’t read directions either. This is a disaster like burning sulfur raining from the sky or lava shooting all the fuck over the place. That’s a biblical manner of shit.

Women with any kind of power means civilization is about to be proper fucked. That’s the battle we fight as men, constantly pulling the human race back from the edge of nothing with one hand tied behind our backs because we’re goddamn men and that’s how we do everything: easily. [Read more]