Wallow in It

Men are ten times classier than women.

Who’s Afraid of the Manliest Man

Posted in Wallow in It on November 2nd, 2006

I’m going to conclude my week’s presentation of the world’s manliest man men with the manliest man man of all.

You. [Read more]

Dick’s Top Ten Reasons Going Bald is Manly

Posted in Wallow in It on October 12th, 2006

Going bald is like the man-menopause of being a man. So long as “increased chance of osteoporosis” actually means “increased chance of bagging a hot babe with your brand new, red, sports convertible.

Babes love bald because it’s manly. Here are my top ten reasons why. [Read more]

Manginas Are My Hero

Posted in Wallow in It on May 29th, 2006

Not all men have money, good looks, talent, wit, charm, charisma, interesting stories, cultural insight, skills, athletic abilities, woman-attracting macho attitudes, an ability to eat an inhuman amount of food (or food based, non-toxic products), a sense of style, an easy going demeanor, a non-threatening posture, rich parents, or an in depth knowledge of anything and a desire to show it off. All men, however, are still men. That means they need to get laid.

So how do these men attract women? I’ll tell you how, by taking charge where women have failed for the last thirty years.

Manginas are my hero. [Read more]

The Heart of Darkness Should Have Been Called Golden Girls

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Wallow in It on May 19th, 2006

This is going to be one of my most controversial articles to date. I say that because I don’t even agree with it. In fact I’m disgusted by it; but that’s the burden of being a man. Even if you don’t agree with the truth or if you’re disgusted by the big fat obligation you have to keep shucking out the dough for, you do it. You do it and you shut your mouth.

Or in some cases you open your mouth in order to speak the truth. And then sometimes your mouth is a metaphor for fingers, which can do writing unless your hands are cuffed behind your back for some reason. In that case, the mouth can still be just a mouth. You understand. [Read more]

Anorexia? Manorexia

Posted in Wallow in It on March 27th, 2006

Anorexia Nervosa has been a big problem for women for decades. It should be about ten times bigger than it is though. What good is a woman who isn’t at least trying to be skinny as fuck?

Granted all men’s tastes are different and of equal value, but it’s obvious to me as a man the natural inclination for women is squewed toward big fat fuck — and that I have a problem with. So what do women do? Stop eating?

No. Women can’t even do that right. [Read more]

Dick O’Masterson

Posted in Wallow in It on March 17th, 2006

The greatest man day of them all is upon us. And that would be St. Patrick’s Day.

For those of you who don’t know what Saint Patrick’s Day is, fuck off my site because you’re obviously a woman and don’t belong here anyway. [Read more]

A Scorching Case of Bullshit

Posted in Wallow in It on January 25th, 2006

It’s winter time and that means it’s the season for many of man’s favorite things. Tight sweaters (for obvious reasons), loose sweaters (for putting on those extra pounds), and fire.

I was starting a fire just last night when it occurred to me. I have never seen a woman start a fire.

I don’t think a woman ever has. [Read more]

Memoirs of a Prostitute. She’s a Fucking Prostitute.

Posted in Wallow in It on January 4th, 2006

You know the most recent extremely popular movie rife with pandering and self-righteous entitlement bullshit that makes me fucking sick — otherwise known as a “Chick Flick”? It’s about an Asian prostitute living every woman’s dream of suffering the shame and indignity of being labeled a whore (for money and not for a house), but not actually having to fuck for her stripes.

Yea. Since you’re all men, I’m going to assume you haven’t seen Memoirs of a Geisha — just like I haven’t. That would be a huge loss of Man Points. My mother paraphrased it to me though. [Read more]